Eat-Sleep-Love | Maryland DC & Virginia Sleep Coach, Baby Planner, Maternity & Child Consultant

Maternity & Parenting Center

Update

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I don’t exactly have much of an update right now . . . we are still having bedtime challenges. Micah seems to do better when we induce a food coma, so I’ve been nursing him until I have nothing left, and then supplementing him with a bottle of breast milk when he still seems to want more. It has left me wondering if he is really just hungry . . . perhaps he is not getting enough milk off of me during the day. He is still gaining weight at an unbelievable pace, but yet . . . I think these meltdowns are more than just “normal” baby things. Maybe he is getting enough to stave off the hunger during the day, but when bedtime comes around, the cumulative hunger hits and he melts down. I’m not exactly sure what to do . . . I guess I either have to try supplementing during the day, or working on increasing my supply so he can get another 1/2 ounce or so a feeding (I think that is all it would take).

I did check with the doctor . . . who said he is gaining weight normally and not to worry about it. And yet . . . I know my boy. He doesn’t generally cry and get fussy, and when he does, it means something is wrong. Now, if I can just figure out what.

In other news, we are more than halfway through the renovations to my condo, and we should be ready to put it on the market in about 4 weeks. I can’t believe how smoothly that is going (and we STILL haven’t finished renovations on our house . . . did I mention I still hate my contractor?)

Bedtime still sucks

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For lack of a more appropriate and descriptive term, bedtime the past few nights . . . SUCKS. Tonight, Micah was being cute and playful. He started to get sleepy around 7:15, so we bathed him, lotioned him up, and got him ready for bed. He smiled, took his medicine, and eagerly awaited his bedtime “snack.” I nursed him, and he began to drift off to sleep. In fact, he was out cold before he finished nursing. I tried to wake him, but he would have none of it! So, I quietly transferred him into the crib, shut off all the lights, waited five minutes, then left the room.

Fast forward about 10 minutes. MASS HYSTERIA began again. I have no idea what woke him up, but he was hysterical. I went upstairs, nursed him some more, and put him back to sleep. I snuck back downstairs. . . . and five minutes later, he was crying. I sent Elliot upstairs to work his magic. He tried the paci, and then Micah became hysterical again. Elliot spent the next 10-15 minutes singing to Micah, and he finally crashed again. We placed him back in the crib, and so far, so good (with the exception of 2 more paci insertion trips up the stairs).

I don’t really understand it. Our entire trip to California, and ever since he was 8 weeks old, bedtime has been a joy! Since the night we returned home from California, bedtime has not been the same. It doesn’t matter that he is relaxed and tired, it still becomes a screaming session every night. Once we get beyond it, everything is fine, but the process is very draining. I wish I understood what is happening that makes Micah so hysterical at bedtime everynight now. I also wish I knew how to fix it.

The things they don’t tell you

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At the risk of sounding as if I’m complaining about motherhood, I am about to blog about all the things “they” don’t tell you about motherhood. Make no mistake – I LOVE my Micah, and I LOVE being a mommy. Micah is absolutely adorable, and I’m constantly amazed by how he is growing and developing. He has the most wonderful smile – every time I see it light up his face, my heart melts.

So . . . back to the point of my blog – the things they don’t tell you about having a baby.

BREASTFEEDING. I’ve mentioned this a bunch of times, but breastfeeding is not easy. Let’s start with the fact that latching should be easy, but it isn’t always. Then, factor in issues of supply. Then move on to the demand factor – you have to be the one completely available to your little one 24 hours a day to provide for his/her eating needs. When you are exhausted, or overwhelmed, or sick, YOU still have to be the primary one responsible for feeding your baby. It is an enormous responsibility, and there is very little feedback to reassure you that you are doing it right. Taking time off? Not really an option – even if you step away, you still have to make sure to pump enough to keep the supply up. I think bottle-feeding moms really do have an advantage because they gain far more independence and can much more easily share this responsibility with a spouse.

PLAYING. It sounds strange, but I’m never sure that I am playing with Micah enough . . . or stimulating his brain development sufficiently. Sometimes it is hard to figure out what to do, and I always feel like I am not doing enough. Other times, I just want to sit quietly with him, and I wonder if I’m wasting precious moments when I should be teaching him something. I have no idea whether we are supposed to fill every waking second (when they are not eating) with learning.

IDENTITY. I blogged about this before, but I really feel like I’ve lost myself a bit. My whole life now revolves around this little tiny life, and sometimes I feel like I’ve lost me. I’m working hard to find me again and re-establish that balance, but it is much harder than I realized.

INDEPENDENCE. I find it difficult to go out for extended periods of time. Much of this may have to do with the fact I am breastfeeding, but it is difficult to figure out how to leave Micah for long stretches of time. Even figuring out how to pump when I am out is challenging. As a result, I feel like I do not have time to get things done . . . either my work, or even spending time with friends, or getting my nails done. I know that moms are able to balance this when they go back to work, but I guess I am a bit more nervous about testing the waters because we JUST got my supply established the past few weeks, and I’m so afraid of messing it all up. My goal over the next few weeks is to figure out how to give myself some space when I need it – maybe have a few days a week that we bottle feed Micah during the day to give me a bit of a break. I am really ready to be able to take the day off and either let Elliot have a full day with Micah or ask my parents to babysit. Now that he is sleeping through the night, it would be so easy to let him stay at his Grammy and Goppy’s house overnight.

SLEEP. I’ll throw a bone to the sleep deprivation factor, although I don’t sleep much in the first place. I have to say, I did not think this would affect me at all, and I was amazed by how difficult the first few weeks were. With all of the feeding issues I was having, I really did not get ANY sleep in the beginning. They tell you to nap when the baby is napping, but if you are feeding every 2-3 hours from the START of a feed, and if the feeding takes over 1 hour, and then it takes another 15-20 minutes to pump (factoring in the setup and cleanup) . . . well, you are at 2 hours, and it is time to start over again! I would say I’m lucky – by the 2 week mark, Micah was sleeping 4-6 hours without interruption overnight, and that immediately gave me my normal sleep schedule back, so my sleep deprivation was short-lived.

Update on Me

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The past few weeks have really been great for me. The hardest part of becoming a mom and staying home all these weeks has been that I feel like I’ve been losing me. When friends call, I feel tied down and incapable of leaving to go out for a little while. Micah’s eating had been a huge consuming part of my life, and has left me a bit unsure about stepping away for too long. When I have friends on the phone, I have lost my ability to hold a conversation – I have nothing to discuss other than Micah. I can talk about poop, or sleeping, or breastfeeding, or how many ounces I can pump. I can tell you the last time I fed the baby, and how many outfits he has worn in any given day . . . but most of these things probably aren’t interesting to anyone other than me . . . or possibly Elliot. I don’t do anything else during the day, so it is quite difficult to find interesting topics to discuss. I have felt a bit starved for grownup interactions, and I miss doing my work and being able to go to meetings and schedule my calls. I definitely needed this time off, and I’m not ready to fully return to work, but I miss me.

So, the past few weeks I’ve tried to get a life. I joined a Baby & Me class at the JCC, which has been wonderful! It gets us out of the house once a week, and we interact with other mommies. I don’t feel quite so boring because I have lots of other mommies who don’t care if I talk diapers and pumping. I have been going to a breastfeeding support group (BEST) that gets me out of the house a second day and I usually go out to lunch after that as well. I am certain I will develop a nice playgroup for Micah from all of these activities. Next month, I am joining the OnesiesDC group – each week for 6 weeks, we will go to a different location for a baby-friendly activity – infant massage, a yoga class, a pottery class, a visit with a pediatrician, a photo session, etc. I am excited to learn what activities are out there for Micah and me!

Perhaps the best things that have happened are Micah finally nursing “normally” and sleeping through the night. Nursing normally allows me the freedom to just feed him – when he wants, when we are out, etc. I now have a stash of breast milk in the freezer, so I don’t have a panic about what to do if I have to (or want to) run out. It has been unbelievably freeing! Even better, Micah is now sleeping through the night. We put him down at 8:30 and he sleeps until 6:30 or so. What is amazing about that is I can go out after he is asleep! I can even miss the last feed and go out to dinner and have an evening out. On Wednesday, I left Elliot with a bottle of milk, nursed Micah at 7, then went out to dinner with a friend. It was so freeing to be able to just go out and do my thing for a few hours.

My mom and dad have been great about babysitting. On Sunday night, they came over and watched Micah for a few hours. Elliot & I were able to go out for dinner to celebrate a belated Valentine’s Day – our first “date night” since Micah was born. It was some time we needed to recharge our relationship. Of course, we spent the whole time talking about Micah, but at least we got out! Now that we officially have a bedtime routine and Micah is sleeping through the night, I think we are going to start having them babysit AND put Micah to bed so we can take a longer evening to ourselves. My mom actually asked if she could come and do this one night a week!

So, slowly but surely, I’m trying to find myself again. The new me . . . the one that is a mommy, and the one that has a life beyond being a mommy, too. The balance is so important to me – I really want to “have it all.” Wish me luck!

Roll Over!

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Micah rolled over again last night! We’re still not sure if it is accidental or on purpose, but he has rolled from front to back about 4 or 5 times, and from back to front 2 times!

Once again, he fell asleep in his crib . . . or, more accurately, he fell asleep on his mommy in his room while we sat in the glider, and then was moved into his crib to spend the night. While I miss having Micah around with us until 2:00 in the morning and sleeping in our room, I also am enjoying the time for us.

We can’t believe how much he is growing. I weighed him yesterday at the breastfeeding support group, and he weighed 9 lbs!! We just bought size 1 diapers, and this week I am going to see how the 0-3 months size clothing fits.

Another Milestone

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Last night, Micah slept in his crib for the first time! Not only that, he slept for 10 hours. We are hoping to replicate that tonight. Getting him to go to sleep was a bit more challenging tonight, and he was extremely over-tired (since he was apparently not in the mood to nap today). We have started a bedtime “routine” but he still won’t fall asleep on his own in the crib. We have to get him to fall asleep and then move him into the crib. Tonight, after 1 hour and many failed attempts to transfer him from the glider to the crib, I finally brought the secure sleeper into our bed, and sat with him on my chest, then gradually moved him to the sleeper. Once he was down, we moved the sleeper to his crib. Probably not ideal, but not bad for a 2 month old baby.

Even better . . . I seem to finally be getting ahead on the stored breast milk – we actually have several bottles of pumped milk stored. If he keeps going to bed relatively early and sleeping through the night, I should be able to pump an extra 4-5 ounces to store everyday!

Happy New Year!

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I can’t believe it is 2009! Micah got to meet his great grandmother on New Year’s Day to celebrate her birthday and spend some time with her. Elliot and I made a birthday cake for her (truth be told, Elliot baked the cake and made the icing, and I decorated the cake). Seeing my Grammy with Micah was really wonderful – she kept saying how beautiful he was. I’m not sure if she knew who he was all the time, but she seemed happy to have him there. For someone with dementia, you just have to focus on the moments.

I’m finally feeling better (I’m a bit worried about Micah, though – he keeps sneezing!) and we’ve gotten Micah to sleep for 5 hour stretches 3 nights in a row so far! We tried the secure sleeper, and that really does seem to help a lot. He has really been fairly awake today – we played a bit, and we chatted, too. Of course, now I’m wondering what exactly to DO with him when he is awake. I sing, but that has to hurt his ears!! I’m not sure what toys he should play with or how best to stimulate him. We tried the playmat again today – he got upset after about 5 minutes on it. I gave him a funky rattle/plastic loopy thing (I think it is called a winkle?) and he seemed to like that . . . for a few minutes. He got cranky the last time he was awake, so I put him in the swing and he zonked back out again. We’ve played music and I’ve chatted with him and read him a book. I guess I’m just not sure if I’m doing this “right.” I’ve never been so unsure of so many things in my life!

My little porker . . .

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Micah had his 2 week appointment today, and he weighed in at 6 lbs (well, with rounding up)! He is growing well (averaging an ounce a day) and we were officially given permission to stop force-feeding him at 3 hr intervals around the clock – we can now feed “on demand” so tonight is the first night we intend to let him sleep until he wakes up. I’m SOOO excited – I think we might actually get 4 hours of sleep in a row. I’ve continued to feed him every 3 hrs or so all day in the hopes that he won’t be too hungry tonight to sleep a bit longer.

The past few nights, he has been unhappy from about 4 am until 8 am. We’ve been waking him up from a pretty sound sleep to feed him, and then we have a hard time getting him back to sleep after the feeding. He’ll start crying, and I almost always have to nurse him again . . . we’ve been cluster feeding for several hours every night, and it is taking its toll on us. It is probably more accurate to say he won’t let us put him down after the feeding – he’ll sleep on me or Elliot, but if we try moving him to the bassinet so we can sleep, he starts crying, and since we are too exhausted to stay awake and hold him on us in the bed . . . well, let’s just say it has been challenging. We’ve eventually been able to get him to sleep in the bouncy seat, but we don’t want to have him sleeping in the bouncy seat every night. Here is hoping we have better luck tonight!

We are going to attempt to use the playmat tonight – we’ll see if he is ready for that. Luckily, he seems to really like tummy time, although he mostly spends tummy time on Mommy or Daddy’s chest. We thought we’d try a change of location tonight, so we’re off to the rec room in the basement for a change of scenery.

Houston . . . we have weight gain!

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Today was our weight check . . . and Micah gained weight! He weighed in at 5 lbs 11 ozs – getting close to his birth weight. It looks like the breast feeding is finally going well. We also have tons of poop . . . I swear, that child has a diaper explosion with EVERY eating session. He also likes to wait for the diaper to come off, and THEN have an explosion. Sometimes he is considerate – he waits until we put a clean diaper on him, and then he has an explosion. I think we must have 8-10 dirty diapers a day!

We’re still using the preemie diapers (and preemie clothing) – the newborn size is just still too big for him. We had him in a newborn diaper the other night – it slid off his tush and he ended up with a mess in the swaddle. We won’t be trying that again until he is a little bigger.

We do seem to have a better system in place now. I’m actually getting a few hours sleep at a time at night. Elliot wakes the baby up, hands him to me, then goes back to sleep. I spend the next hour nursing, and then Elliot gets back up to change his diaper and dress him again. Lately, Micah has been wanting to nurse AGAIN for another 15-20 minutes after he is swaddled, so we nurse again until he falls alseep and I put him back in the bassinet. This way, both Elliot and I can get about 2 – 2 1/2 hrs sleep at a time.