Eat-Sleep-Love | Maryland DC & Virginia Sleep Coach, Baby Planner, Maternity & Child Consultant

Maternity & Parenting Center

It still talks!

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I’m sure you will all be happy to know that my pump still talks. Ever since the baby arrived, I have been fairly torn about whether or not I should pump. I struggled with milk supply when I had Micah, and one of the mistakes I made was letting things go too long before I began to pump. I swore that this time, I would not make that same mistake.

In the hospital, before we even arrived at our room, I requested a pump. I had everything set up and ready to go “just in case.” Much to my surprise, the baby latched really well at her first nursing session. She fell asleep for about 6 hours after that, but the lactation consultant said that they advise moms of preemies who will be exclusively pumping not to begin pumping until the 6 hour mark. She further suggested that if the baby latched well again and stayed on for 20-30 minutes, that she felt that I should hold off on pumping and only pump if the baby refused to latch or nurse.

Right at the 6 hour mark, we had another great nursing session. The baby continued to latch at least every 3 hours for 20-60 minutes each time. She had the requisite number of wet diapers (and stools, too), and by morning everyone was telling me how well she was nursing and how perfectly everything was going. In the back of my head, however, I kept wondering if it was just too good to be true. I mentioned my supply issues and my concerns, and most felt that if I were to face supply issues, it would likely not crop up for a little while as I should easily be able to meet the baby’s early demand…I just might start to fall behind later. It made sense to me, so I decided to trust the “experts.” Besides…I always hated pumping, and in the early days, you pump and pump and NOTHING comes out until after your milk starts to come in – who needs that frustration?

At the end of day two, I began to get nervous again. It was our first sign of trouble…salmon colored urine in the diapers. It is a sign that the baby is passing uric acid and not getting enough fluid. Once we saw that with Micah, everything went downhill quickly, so I was fairly concerned. We spoke to the nurse and to the doctor, and everyone pretty much told us it was “nothing” – just feed the baby more often. I asked about supplementing and I asked about pumping, and everyone felt that the baby was doing a great job on her own and I should just trust that it would be okay.

The salmon-colored diapers continued all day on Sunday (and even this morning). She is supposed to be passing 3 stools a day, and she has barely been doing one since Saturday (she did 3 on Friday, and then 1 on Saturday morning, 1 on Sunday morning and none since then). She is definitely hitting the requisite number of wet diapers, but I think my supply might be the issue. we called our pediatrician and we are going in later today for an appointment, but over the phone they said I should start supplementing.

So, this morning, after she nursed on one side, I bit the bullet…and got cozy with my pump. And yes, it still talks. I think it is still pretty salty, too. It started out telling me to “Let it go” and then it called me “Whacko.” When my pump switched to the faster pumping setting, it started to tell me to “back up” – since it was hurting, I decided the pump was asking me to turn down the tempo to a lower speed, and I happily obliged. Then it started to say “back hoe” – I’m thinking it was trying to make conversation about our upcoming renovations?

After all of that pumping…I barely got 5ccs. I hate pumping! I know that I did breastfeed shortly before pumping, and that the pump does not do as good a job getting the colostrum out, but I just find the whole process so discouraging! I ended up giving the baby all 5ccs, and I called the pediatrician to discuss her salmon-colored diapers. The pediatrician who had answered the phone read me the riot act about not supplementing yet, and how it was necessary and the baby would get sick and dehydrate…so after giving her the 5ccs, I caved and gave her another 10ccs of formula. I decided that maybe that would be all she would need to “get over the hump” and I would wait and see what they said at her doctor’s appointment.

At 2:30, we headed to her appointment. We saw a different doctor, and he thought she looked great and maybe put on an ounce or two. I was just thrilled she is no longer losing weight! We discussed the salmon-colored diapers, and he thought that it was not a big deal before my milk came in, especially since she was gaining weight. He thought her color looked good and everything else was perfect. Naturally, after our long discussion about her lack of normal urine, he checked her diaper and…you guessed it – a beautiful yellow-colored urine-filled diaper! The little stinker made me into a liar…or at least one of those crazy, hypochondriac parents. I am pleased to report she has had two more normal diapers since our appointment, so it looks like all the extra nursing (or perhaps the touch of formula this morning) did the trick. Now, we just need to get her pooping again…she has not pooped since about 5:00 am on Sunday morning. I’m sure when we have a nasty diaper, I’ll be regretting WISHING for more poop, but what else can I do? We will return to the doctor on Thursday for another weight check. Hopefully, she’ll continue to do well.

In the meantime, Micah shows absolutely NO INTEREST in his sister. I did manage to snap a few photos of him nearby – I’ll try to post them soon. We’ve been doing well during the days – she is nursing easily and so far I’m trying not to worry about my supply. Elliot and I have been trying to take turns caring for each of the kids, and my parents have come by a few times to help out with the baby. She seems to get very sleepy in the late afternoon/early evening, and then is wide awake from about 10:30 until 3:00 am. Last night, she just did not want to be put down, and I was exhausted – since Wednesday night, I had only had 5 hours of sleep – TOTAL. I finally just latched her on, propped myself up in bed, and the two of us took a 3 hour nap together that way. Yes, I know it is a bad idea to sleep in bed that way, but we needed our rest, and I just could not figure out another way to make it work because she wanted Mommy and no one else to hold her. Hopefully, tonight will be easier, but we shall see.

She has been nursing VERY frequently all day today. The little lady has such sensitive skin – she has completely scratched up her face with her fingernails, and every time she rubs up against something she gets these terrible abrasions/rashes that can last 3-12 hours.

Okay – that is our update for now!

New attitude?

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I woke up this morning in Atlanta, here for a conference. Micah was a good boy last night . . . he went to bed around 8:30, and he slept really well. He did not quite enjoy the flight as much as our previous flights. He had several short crying sessions, and his ears seemed to bother him. He has been quite congested, so it is possible that the congestion was the culprit. Around 4:30 or 5 this morning, he woke up talking. He was so cheery, and he just rolled around in the crib and chatted. He didn’t sound hungry at all, but after about 30 minutes, I decided to pick him up and feed him. He ate well, then fell back asleep.

I got up and showered, and at 8:30, I decided to pump again (rather than wake Micah). This time, I was pumping and dressing/applying makeup. Surprisingly, my pump appears to be a morning pump (and for those of you who know me, you know I am NOT a morning person). This morning, the pump did start off mocking me with its usual chorus of “wacko.” The mantra slowly morphed into “get a clue.” Then . . . perhaps just to mock me with morning cheer, the pump said a few nice things to me, such as “radical,” “way to go,” and “go for it!” I was so touched that maybe my pump is starting to like me . . . until it decided to call me a “ho’ bag.” This disturbed me . . . my pump has always been snide, but it descended today into name calling. I must also say there was a brief chorus of “asshole” before the pump remembered it was trying to be nice to me, and went back to singing “ragu” and “get it going.” All-in-all, a decidedly improved attitude, and I will forgive it for its brief rudeness today.

Micah will be hanging out with Elliot today – I hope they have a fun day together while I sit here in meetings all day. And, yes, I should be paying attention, not blogging. Back to work . . . .

Drivin’ & Pumpin’

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Yes, it is true . . . you can pump and drive. I know I should not admit that I have done this, but on Monday I felt as if I had no choice. I had a crazy day on Monday – running around in the morning and dropping Micah off at daycare for the first time, followed by my meeting downtown. I knew Micah’s next bottle was due sometime during my meeting, so I could not pump at that time (don’t you think pumping in a meeting would have been worse?). I also knew that by the time I got home, Micah would want to eat again within a short period of time. I was afraid of waiting too long after he had last eaten to pump because it could inadvertently take away some of his needed food. So, when I left my meeting around 4:20, I knew I was easily 45 minutes from home. I called Elliot – he was picking up Micah, and told me Micah had last eaten at 3:40. I thought it through for a few minutes, and decided that I needed to pump, immediately.

I could have just pumped in the car before driving home – that probably would have made the most sense. However, I was parked out on the street, so it wasn’t exactly a private location (yeah . . . and driving on the roads is MUCH more private). However, my meter was almost up, and the street parking rules on that block did not allow for parking after 4:30 pm, so I was concerned that a police officer would give me a hard time. I discretely put on my pumping bra, hooked up the pump, and put it on its battery-powered setting. I was smart in how I had dressed – I had on a blazer, so my sides were well covered, and I had on a sleeveless shirt underneath that I was able to pull down over the pumping attachments. So, nothing was showing and I was hands-free. After considering my options another moment . . . I put the car into gear, and hit the road. The first 15 minutes of the trip, I was all hooked up and pumping. At one of the lights, I turned off the pump after my time was up. It was pretty uncomfortable to be hooked up, and I was paranoid that people would look at the car window and wonder about the strange shapes causing my shirt to protrude. I also became panicked that the cups would fall off and all that precious milk would spill in the car. So, at each of the lights, I slowly worked at unhooking the pump, combining the bottles, and capping the milk. I was quite impressed with my abilities!

So . . . note to self . . . it is definitely safe to pump and drive.

Still talking . . . but a new message

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As you all may recall, my pump and I don’t exactly get along. Nevertheless, we’ve been operating under a truce for the past few months. Generally, I use it as little as possible, and when I do, it works as little as possible, producing only the bare minimum of milk. Many of you may also recall that my breast pump talks to me. For the most part, it has continued to mock me, but it occasionally has had neutral messages for our pumping sessions.

Well, a few weeks ago, my pump stopped articulating well. Seriously . . . I think it was talking, but I couldn’t understand it. I slowly realized that it was sick. Not just a passing cold, but perhaps terminally ill. I called up Medela, and after going through their rigmarole, they declared there was nothing wrong with my pump. I insisted that there was, and they agreed to send me out a new motor.

While we were out of town, the new pump arrived. I was supposed to open the box and re-package it with my old pump. UPS, however, in their infinite wisdom, delivered the pump one day . . . and picked it up for return the next day, before I even had a chance to get home and use it! Today, the new pump arrived (for the second time). I swapped out the parts, and here I am, pumping away.

I was excited to meet my new pump. I turned it on tonight, fully expecting a new dialogue. Several of my friends have informed me that their pumps say wonderful things like “you’re pretty” and “you go girl” while they pump. I was looking forward to this new conversation, and I eagerly awaited the message from my new pump. As expected, this pump also talks. It has spent the entire time repeating the phrase “Wacko” over and over again. Apparently, Medela sent me another pump in need of a serious attitude adjustment. I was hoping for a nicer pump this go around . . . any tips for improving communication with a pump?

Adventures in Traveling

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We had quite a week! On Monday, I was determined to get everything ready for our trip early. No last-minute scrambling and staying up all night because of my procrastination. I made Elliot promise he would also get everything together, and our goal was to be packed and ready to go by midnight. Although our flight was not until 1:15 the following afternoon, I was concerned about being ready because Micah and I had an activity planned for the morning – session #2 of our OnesiesDC program. Our activity for the day was a meeting with a relationship counselor and a photo session with a photographer. I was determined to time everything right so that Micah was wide awake and happy for his pictures (unlike our 3 month photo session disaster . . . but I digress). My plan was to wake up in the morning, be out the door by 10, and have Elliot pick us up after class so we could go straight to the airport. I figured if I was ready to go by midnight, I could go to sleep after pumping and have a relatively calm and easy morning for a change.

I was so impressed with myself! Before Micah went to bed, I pulled out all of his outfits, folded them, and gathered all of his other items. I also made a list of everything else that needed to be packed, for both of us. Shortly after Micah went to bed, I finished up my laundry. Right before sorting my outfits for packing, I detoured to the bathroom. While I was in there, all of the sudden I felt strange . . . and blood began to GUSH out of my nose and down my throat.

I called to Elliot, and we tried squeezing my nose, leaning back in a chair, ice on the bridge of my nose . . . everything. I called my mom, and she said I should go to the hospital. Like every mature adult, I realized she was correct. I also knew I had no time to go to the hospital, pack, and still make my trip. So, I decided that I was going to will the bleeding to stop and go about my business. It was a LONG night, but 2 1/2 hours later, I finally got the bleeding to stop. I was exhausted, and took a bit of a nap.

Naturally, it was 2:00 am when I woke up. I still had to pump, and because of the prior drama, I had not done any packing. It was 4:30 am before I finished everything . . . just in time for Micah to begin fussing. I didn’t get ANY sleep before he woke up at 7 ready to eat. I ended up finishing the packing, and we got out the door for our class at 10. Micah was refusing to nap all morning, and fell asleep just before we left. I knew he’d be a grump when I woke him up for the picture session. Luckily, I was wrong, and he was cute as can be. Elliot came to pick us up right at 11:15, and off we went to the airport.

The trip out to LA was uneventful . . . except my little guy refused to sleep. Seriously refused to sleep. He was awake for over 11 hours straight. He started to get a bit fussy at times because he was over-tired. When we arrived, we drove straight to Rayna’s house and headed out to dinner with Rayna and Stuart. Dinner was wonderful – we ate at a restaurant called Riva. Micah finally crashed during dinner – he had woken up at 7:00 am ET, and he napped 3 times for a total of maybe 20 minutes, and he went to bed at 8:30 pm PT (of course, despite my intention to keep him on East Coast time, he decided he preferred California time). I sure hope we have an easy time switching back!

Micah woke up the next day happy. We played, he napped, he was really quite wonderful! It turns out, Micah was not the source of my California drama. While we were there, we stayed the first 2 nights with Rayna, an old family friend of mine. We spent Wednesday shopping, and I left Micah with Elliot. Then we met my law school friend Leila and her daughter for lunch at the Brentwood Country Market, and Elliot and Micah joined us. After lunch, Elliot took Micah on a long walk back to Rayna’s house, and they hung out and relaxed by the pool with her dog.


While Elliot & Micah spent time together, Rayna and I went for a manicure/pedicure. We had just finished and paid, when all of the sudden . . . the blood came gushing again out of nowhere! I knew it meant I had to go see a doctor. The ladies at the shop were great – they were cleaning me off as the blood was gushing – I couldn’t believe how helpful they were! While we were deciding which hospital, Rayna suddenly remembered that she knew an ENT. Luckily, he was willing to see us. As we drove across town through terrible traffic, the bleeding stopped. Although I wondered if the doctor would think I was crazy, I decided to keep the appointment since this had already happened twice.

The ENT was wonderful! Dr. Raphael Nach. He was so sweet (and I loved his South African accent), and he immediately found the source of the bleed. He decided to irritate the spot so that he could confirm it. Unfortunately, it started gushing again. Dr. Nach was surprised by how much blood. He decided that it was bleeding too much to cauterize, and he numbed my nose so that he could pack it instead. Somehow, the numbing agent slowed down the bleeding, and I was able to get my nosebleed cauterized.

We decided to stay in that evening with Rayna, Brandon and Stuart and make dinner. Micah went to bed right on cue at 7:00 pm, and he didn’t make a single peep all night. We had a wonderful dinner (and we made smores sitting by an outdoor fire pit). The next morning, we woke up and headed off to my conference. Well, it took us 2 attempts to leave . . . Elliot forgot Micah’s bottle at the house, so we needed to turn around to get it.

When we got to the hotel, we were upgraded to a suite! I went to see the exhibits, and took a few meetings. Elliot also met with another consultant and took care of Micah. It was actually a productive day for me. I think I might have landed another client or two, so the conference was well worth the trip. The suite was perfect for us – it allowed us to put Micah to bed in one room while we watched tv in the other. We had a relaxing evening, then headed back to the airport in the morning.

The trip home was LONG. Micah was napping when we first arrived at the airport in LA:
He slept through security and while we waited for our flight. He woke up in time to nurse for takeoff, and then he dozed back off for another hour. He woke up as we were arriving in Denver. We had a 3 hour layover in Denver, which just made the whole trip even longer. Here is Micah playing at the airport in Denver:

Micah was a real trooper – and so good. He was smiling and laughing almost the entire time. He had 2 or 3 periods of fussiness on the last leg of the trip. He was just over-tired, and he needed his medicine, and we were having trouble getting him comfortable. I think he was also sick of being held/confined. We landed at midnight, and Micah was so sweet while we waited for our luggage:


We didn’t get home until almost 1:30 am. He slept most of the way home in the car, but woke up as we entered the house. I nursed him again, and he went straight back to sleep.

Micah slept soundly until I finally woke him at 9:45 this morning. I was afraid to wake him earlier since he had been so exhausted. His day has been all screwed up today . . . but he has still been cute and playful when he is awake. Today we tried him sitting in the Bumbo seat:

I tried putting him to bed at 8:30, but he really wouldn’t fall asleep. I ended up bringing him back downstairs and he chilled on the playmat and is now currently asleep in the swing. I’ll have to figure out how to get him upstairs and figure out if he needs to eat again. I’m hoping we can get him back on schedule by tomorrow. I think I’m going to wake him up by 8:00 am no matter what.

Tomorrow I’m off to Atlanta for work! Micah is becoming quite the traveler. My mom is joining Micah and me this time – I have 2 days of meetings. I’ll update when I can!

Update on Me

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The past few weeks have really been great for me. The hardest part of becoming a mom and staying home all these weeks has been that I feel like I’ve been losing me. When friends call, I feel tied down and incapable of leaving to go out for a little while. Micah’s eating had been a huge consuming part of my life, and has left me a bit unsure about stepping away for too long. When I have friends on the phone, I have lost my ability to hold a conversation – I have nothing to discuss other than Micah. I can talk about poop, or sleeping, or breastfeeding, or how many ounces I can pump. I can tell you the last time I fed the baby, and how many outfits he has worn in any given day . . . but most of these things probably aren’t interesting to anyone other than me . . . or possibly Elliot. I don’t do anything else during the day, so it is quite difficult to find interesting topics to discuss. I have felt a bit starved for grownup interactions, and I miss doing my work and being able to go to meetings and schedule my calls. I definitely needed this time off, and I’m not ready to fully return to work, but I miss me.

So, the past few weeks I’ve tried to get a life. I joined a Baby & Me class at the JCC, which has been wonderful! It gets us out of the house once a week, and we interact with other mommies. I don’t feel quite so boring because I have lots of other mommies who don’t care if I talk diapers and pumping. I have been going to a breastfeeding support group (BEST) that gets me out of the house a second day and I usually go out to lunch after that as well. I am certain I will develop a nice playgroup for Micah from all of these activities. Next month, I am joining the OnesiesDC group – each week for 6 weeks, we will go to a different location for a baby-friendly activity – infant massage, a yoga class, a pottery class, a visit with a pediatrician, a photo session, etc. I am excited to learn what activities are out there for Micah and me!

Perhaps the best things that have happened are Micah finally nursing “normally” and sleeping through the night. Nursing normally allows me the freedom to just feed him – when he wants, when we are out, etc. I now have a stash of breast milk in the freezer, so I don’t have a panic about what to do if I have to (or want to) run out. It has been unbelievably freeing! Even better, Micah is now sleeping through the night. We put him down at 8:30 and he sleeps until 6:30 or so. What is amazing about that is I can go out after he is asleep! I can even miss the last feed and go out to dinner and have an evening out. On Wednesday, I left Elliot with a bottle of milk, nursed Micah at 7, then went out to dinner with a friend. It was so freeing to be able to just go out and do my thing for a few hours.

My mom and dad have been great about babysitting. On Sunday night, they came over and watched Micah for a few hours. Elliot & I were able to go out for dinner to celebrate a belated Valentine’s Day – our first “date night” since Micah was born. It was some time we needed to recharge our relationship. Of course, we spent the whole time talking about Micah, but at least we got out! Now that we officially have a bedtime routine and Micah is sleeping through the night, I think we are going to start having them babysit AND put Micah to bed so we can take a longer evening to ourselves. My mom actually asked if she could come and do this one night a week!

So, slowly but surely, I’m trying to find myself again. The new me . . . the one that is a mommy, and the one that has a life beyond being a mommy, too. The balance is so important to me – I really want to “have it all.” Wish me luck!

Another Milestone

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Last night, Micah slept in his crib for the first time! Not only that, he slept for 10 hours. We are hoping to replicate that tonight. Getting him to go to sleep was a bit more challenging tonight, and he was extremely over-tired (since he was apparently not in the mood to nap today). We have started a bedtime “routine” but he still won’t fall asleep on his own in the crib. We have to get him to fall asleep and then move him into the crib. Tonight, after 1 hour and many failed attempts to transfer him from the glider to the crib, I finally brought the secure sleeper into our bed, and sat with him on my chest, then gradually moved him to the sleeper. Once he was down, we moved the sleeper to his crib. Probably not ideal, but not bad for a 2 month old baby.

Even better . . . I seem to finally be getting ahead on the stored breast milk – we actually have several bottles of pumped milk stored. If he keeps going to bed relatively early and sleeping through the night, I should be able to pump an extra 4-5 ounces to store everyday!

Love/Hate Relationship with Breastfeeding

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I would say I am having a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding – and I’m pretty darn sick of it! I kind of thought after having challenges getting pregnant, and then struggling through the pregnancy with morning sickness, UTIs and pre-term contractions, that once Micah was here things would get easier. Naturally, that just wasn’t the case. We had all those eating issues the first week. Then, once we got the issues under control and he started gaining weight, I figured it would be smooth sailing from there, right? Wrong again! Micah caught a cold last week, and we’ve been on this eating spiral ever since.

Last night, I thought everything was actually back to “normal” and okay. I figured he had been eating every 3 1/2 hours all day, and nursing for a relatively “normal” amount of time for us (20-40 minutes a side) and then falling easily back to sleep or staying contentedly awake for a bit before dozing off. No cluster feeding, and then we put him down at 1:30 or 2 and he slept until 6 am. We couldn’t believe how great things were going!

Before things normalized yesterday, I was still worrying about whether Micah was eating enough or gaining enough weight and if my milk supply was sufficient. I called an LC and was invited to join a semi-private class this morning. I gave a non-committal “maybe” thinking it depended on whether Micah slept or cluster-fed or what time his morning feed was. Since he woke up at 6 and the class started at 10, I actually figured that it might be pretty decent timing. I fed him from 6 – 7:30 (he fell asleep a few times, and we changed his diaper and his outfit) and I put him back down. At 9:30 when I picked him up, he was still out cold – I figured I had enough time to get to class to feed him, so off I went!

I was feeling pretty confident when I got to class. I was mostly interested in working on latching without the nipple shield and seeing if we were using the nipple shield correctly. I have to say, I was a bit horrified by the LC. She was incredibly scattered, and much of her advice seemed to contradict all the other LCs I’ve consulted thus far. And her 2 year old daughter . . . well, there is just no way to say this nicely, but she was OBESE. I mean I’d guess she weighed over 50 lbs. She had 3 or 4 chins, and her waist was bigger than mine . . . probably even when I was 9 months pregnant. This poor child could barely walk normally. And she spent the ENTIRE time we were there eating! She drank 3 8 oz glasses of chocolate milk (mind you, I was there for 1 1/2 hours), and then nursed for 20 minutes, then had some crackers, and then ate a sandwich. I had a hard time taking bf’ing advice from a woman who allowed her child to get that obese (yes, I’m passing judgment – I have no idea what is going on there, but I think an overweight child should not be consuming that much sugar and chocolate).

So after I got there, we set Micah up, and she weighed him, and we tried to get him to latch/nurse without the shield. He did for a bit, but then he was getting hungry and frustrated so I put the shield on. The LC suggested I try a smaller shield, and she gave it to me and just placed it over the nipple. When I asked her about proper attachment, she said she doesn’t bother with any of that. I was a bit surprised, but decided to set aside what other LCs had taught me and try and trust this woman and her methods.

She said he was nursing well at first, but then later she urged me to switch sides, then said he was nursing too long and thought he wasn’t taking much in. We weighed him after he’d been nursing for about 45 minutes or so, and he had consumed about 1.3 ozs. Not bad, but definitely not enough. I kind of lost it – this whole process has been so frustrating, and I just don’t know what to do next. I really think he was doing fine before he got sick, but now I’m not even sure of that.

I noticed that my nipple didn’t seem to be fitting as well in this shield as it did in the other ones, and I decided that perhaps the nipple shield was interfering with how he was nursing. I put my own shield back on, and re-latched Micah. He ate again for a while, and started to doze off. She re-weighed him, and in a shocked voice informed me he had eaten another .9 ozs – so 2.2 ozs total for the feed (about where he needed to be). Her concern was that it took him over 1 hour to get that much, and she felt my supply might be a bit low.

I was pretty upset at this point. I knew we’d been having issues, but it just sucks hearing it. And the options don’t thrill me. I can either supplement with formula (which will do nothing to increase my supply, and because I’m allergic to coconut oil, giving Micah formula and trying to nurse gives me horrible rashes). Or, I can go back to pumping every 3 hours – another thought that depresses me a bit. There is also no guarantee that pumping every 3 hours will increase my supply, either – or help Micah nurse more efficiently.

So, I’m stuck. I could just throw in the towel on nursing (and yes, I know there is nothing wrong with bottle-feeding babies, but with my allergy, I have a different set of concerns about using formula and how it will affect how I interact with Micah). Or, I could try and pump every 3 hours, and increase my supply, and work on shortening Micah’s feedings and teaching him to be a more efficient nurser AND teaching him how to latch without a nipple shield AND supplementing with pumped milk after each feeding until he can properly nurse on his own (which may never happen). So I’m stuck. I’m not sure if it is worth continuing to fight this battle (or even the smart thing to do). I’m tired of fighting, but there is a part of me that is just stubborn and I want to win this battle. My reluctance to bottle feeding formula really isn’t about bonding, or which way is “better” or anything like that. I really do think it is mostly about winning this battle because I hate not being able to make things work, and part of it has to do with my fears about my coconut oil allergy (and no, you cannot buy any commercial formulas that are made without coconut oil). And part of me is ready for this to be easy, and I know bottle feeding would be so much easier (with the exception of my contact dermatitis rashes I’ll have for the next 11 months because of my allergy).

So . . . that is my love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. For today, we are going to weigh him before/after each feeding, and try and supplement with pumped breastmilk to make sure he gets 2 – 2 1/2 ozs at each feeding. I’m going to pump after each feeding, and maybe in between, too, to try and increase my supply. We’ll see where we are and then try and figure out what to do next.

Rough Week

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This week has been tough. Micah has been struggling with a cold, and then it affected his eating/nursing. We’ve been having a difficult time getting back on track. He seems to be feeling much better, but he is still congested. At the doctor’s appointment on Thursday (we went in to have him checked for his cold), he had only gained 4 ounces – about 5 ounces less than we would have liked. We have no way to know whether this slowed weight gain is merely due to his cold or if it signifies a bigger eating issue.

I’m a bit frustrated right now with breastfeeding. He was doing a great job eating, and we were on a pretty good schedule until he got sick. He wouldn’t eat for about a day, so I had to pump and bottle feed him. All I can say is this began a long cycle of crazy stuff . . . first I was feeling like I had an oversupply, and then it felt like my milk supply crashed. Micah finally got his appetite back, but he has been cluster-feeding pretty much non-stop for the past several days. We finally resorted to giving him a few bottle formula supplements because I just couldn’t nurse him that many hours a day. I think he was nursing for about 12 hours straight on Thursday and Friday. Yesterday was better during the day, but then Micah would not stop nursing overnight and would not go down to sleep. I had a horrible migraine, so after nursing him for 9 hours (with about 45 minutes of breaks TOTAL), I finally told Elliot to give him a bottle of formula so I could try and sleep my migraine off. I’ve been concerned that Micah is nursing like crazy because he isn’t getting enough from me. The formula did the trick last night and Micah finally slept for 5 hours straight. He seems to be nursing more “normally” today – we’ll see what happens tonight. He has been difficult to wake for his feedings today, so I’m concerned we are on a bad cycle here.

I’ve tried calling a few lactation consultants. Right now, everyone seems to think this is just a growth spurt (although I’m not convinced). Did I mention he is pooping green? I am concerned this means there is an issue with my milk, but who knows. He isn’t exhibiting other symptoms of a foremilk/hindmilk issue (and he nurses for very long periods of time – sometimes 30-50 minutes on each breast – and yes, he is actively nursing that WHOLE time). I may have another appointment with a lactation consultant tomorrow.

Overall, today was a good day. Niki and Eric and their kids came by to bring us bagels for breakfast and take a tour of our house. I then went to meet a new contractor to get a price quote on fixing up my condo for resale. Micah has been nursing easily and quickly going down for his naps today, but tonight will be the real test. I’m still obsessing about his weight (and my milk supply) and whether everything is okay, but I’m trying to hang in there for a few more days.