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Birth Story

June 26, 2010 by Jessica

As you all know, I had been waiting quite some time for little Miss Twoey to make her grand debut into this world. I started having issues with contractions and a shrinking cervix very early on in the pregnancy, and everyone expected that I would be lucky to make it as far as 36-38 weeks. So, all pregnancy, I planned for a very early delivery.

As is par for the course, someone up there must have been laughing at my plans! I scheduled regular work hours up through 36 weeks, and from weeks 36-38, I cut back on my schedule and for every meeting, I gave everyone the caveat “unless I go into labor.” When I actually made it to 38 weeks, I was shocked. I continued to schedule some work meetings, but never more than a day or two in advance. I had completely cleared my schedule from week 39 and for most of June and July…with the exception of doing a 1 1/2 hour presentation at a conference on June 26 (what I had originally expected to be at least 3-4 weeks after Twoey’s birth – my first “post-baby” tentative venture back into the working world). As the date drew closer, I started to worry about how labor would affect that presentation. Last week, when we concluded Little Miss Twoey would never arrive on her own and scheduled the induction, I was relieved – attending the presentation pregnant would be much easier than attending with a newborn baby. Ultimately, I decided to roll the dice and not cancel my presentation – I was certain I would be able to make that meeting.

After my appointment on Wednesday, I was convinced that Twoey would never arrive on her own. My contractions were regular and non-progressive, my cervix was not dilating any further, and after long stretches of intense contractions, the severity would subside. On Thursday morning, I went with the babysitter to attend Micah’s classes. My contractions seemed to pick up during class, and I was quite uncomfortable. They were about 3-4 minutes apart and fairly intense. As had become my practice, I did my best to ignore them. They continued all day long, and often were too intense for me to walk or talk through. I had scheduled to meet my friend Heather for a manicure/pedicure at 3:00 pm, and for a few minutes, I hesitated to go in case I went into labor. I then scoffed as I recalled all the other times I stayed put for fear of labor, and decided to go pamper myself.

My manicure/pedicure were wonderful! It felt great to get a leg and foot massage, and I painted my toes a nice pink in honor of Twoey. My contractions continued throughout the appointment, and even on the drive home. I arrived home a little after 6, and Elliot and I fed Micah dinner. After dinner, Elliot ran a quick errand and came back and informed me that there was a nice outdoor concert happening down the street, so we decided to walk over. I warned Elliot that my contractions were quite intense, and I did not know how far I would be able to walk or stay out. We made it to the concert, and I found a chair (next to a friend I spotted). We sat and chatted, and every 3-5 minutes I had to stop to close my eyes and focus on relaxation breathing during the contractions. We stayed for the concert and then headed home. I found the walk quite difficult, and by the time I got home I was extremely uncomfortable.

We bathed Micah and put him to bed, and I took a shower to relax a bit. After my shower, I tried to stretch out and relax on the couch. Elliot has gotten so sick of my constant contractions that all of my whining about discomfort did nothing to elicit any response from him. I begged for a back massage or a leg massage…but Elliot was not interested in obliging. Instead, he told me his hand hurt!

I tossed and turned on the couch, and around 12:00 I managed to fall asleep for a few hours. I woke up at maybe 1:30 or 2:00 with a contraction, and once again needed to run to the bathroom. I decided to head upstairs and try to get comfortable in bed and get some rest. I was extremely restless and uncomfortable – I could not find a good spot in the bed, and every 10-20 minutes I needed to run to the bathroom. Elliot came upstairs to bed around 2:30 or so, and once again I whined about how much discomfort I was in from the contractions, and told him that I might actually be in labor. He asked me if I wanted to call the midwives, and I said that I knew if I’d called, they would either tell me to stay put until my water broke, or tell me to come in and get checked at the hospital…and then send me home because nothing had changed. So, we decided to wait it out. I asked Elliot to massage my back through some of the contractions…and he told me he was tired and going to sleep.

So, all night, I sat up by myself contracting and laboring. I was breathing through the contractions and trying to stay relaxed, but in the back of my head I was fairly certain I was in labor. At 6:00 am, I told Elliot that I thought I was in labor…and he said “okay” and went back to sleep. At 7:00, I woke him again and suggested that we should call my father to come down “just in case” because I did not want to be alone while he took Micah to daycare – I really felt like I needed more help getting through the contractions. I also wanted to call the midwives – possibly go in to the hospital or get checked at the office. We briefly debated the pros and cons of calling my father, and ultimately Elliot thought it would be easier for me to just wait things out at home while he took Micah to daycare. A few minutes later (7:39)…my water broke! There was no longer any time to debate what to do.

I immediately called the midwives and my parents. I was a bit sad because I knew that my mom had to go get an iron infusion, and I knew she would not be able to join me for the delivery. I’ve known this whole time that she was unlikely to be there…but I kept hoping that maybe Twoey had waited so long so that her Grammy could be with us. My mom started to get emotional on the phone, and I cut her off…I knew I just could not think about what was not going to happen, and I need to focus on getting through it. I then sent Elliot into Micah’s room to wake him up and dress him while I hopped into the shower to rinse off. Like last time, I felt a bit of relief when my water broke…but it was short-lived. Within 5 minutes, my contractions were coming in intense waves – I was doubled over in the shower and barely able to stand or talk. I realized that things were happening quickly, and I worried that we would not make it to the hospital in time. We were out the door a few minutes after 8 (well, I was out the door and in the car waiting with Micah before 8, but Elliot kept forgetting things and needing to go back inside), and we drove Micah to the daycare. I was unhappy that I was spending so much time on my own trying to get through the contractions. Elliot literally dropped him off barely dressed, with milk and some cheerios and said “here he is – feed him!”

By the time Elliot returned to the car, I was extremely uncomfortable. The contractions were coming in waves so quickly and so strongly. Unfortunately, while I could play my ipod birthing/relaxation mix, I could not recline, get comfortable, or truly physically relax during the contractions. I was definitely squirming and antsy during the contractions, and trying to grab on to the car handle. As we started our trip to the hospital, I realized that I was getting nauseated – a symptom that hit about 20 minutes before I needed to push with Micah. Suddenly, I thought I might give birth in the car. Elliot drove like a maniac to the hospital to get us there, and about 5-7 minutes out, I told him I thought I needed to push. We arrived to the hospital, and Elliot had to go get a wheelchair because I could not walk. During one of the contractions, I had to get out of the car and squat down because the pressure was so intense.

We finally made it up to the admittance area around 8:45. The admitting nurse started to ask a ton of questions. I could barely open my eyes or focus, and all I could say was “I need to push.” Next thing I know, they are whisking me into a room. I did not have time (or the energy) to change into a gown, so I simply took off my shorts and kept my shirt. The nurse came in and checked me and said “we’ve got time – you are only 6 cm dilated.” I was scared…when I gave birth to Micah, it was about 3 or 4 hours from the time I was at 5 cm until he was born, but I was not really in any significant discomfort then (well, my back hurt during contractions, but they were very manageable as long as Elliot massaged my back). This time, I was experiencing fairly intense and quick contractions, and I really was not able to get in a comfortable or relaxed position because things had happened so fast. Elliot was focused on talking to the admitting nurse, so he really was not able to focus on massaging my back and helping me relax during the contractions. I was extremely nauseated, and worried that I would not be able to keep up that level of intensity for very long and experience natural child birth again. In my head, I started to wonder if I could handle it, and I started to think I might not be able to do this again. In hindsight, I should have realized that I was close to the end…I had the same 5 or 10 minutes of panic just before I started pushing with Micah!

They continued to try and ask me questions and try to hook me up to the monitors – all the commotion certainly did not make things easier for me. About 5-7 minutes later, I again repeated “I need to push.” They checked me again…and much to their surprise, realized it was go time! I was so relieved…I knew that if it was time to push, we were almost there and I definitely could get through it. They suited up, and asked me to hold on for 1 or 2 more contractions. It must have been around 9:15 or so at this point, and I started to push.

Things were happening quickly – I could immediately feel the baby descending, and apparently the top of her head was easily visible. They kept asking me to push a little harder and longer, but she seemed to move down during the contraction then bounce back up. I could hear Elliot yelling encouragement to me (and I think he was holding my leg to give me support while I pushed). While things happened faster than with Micah, it was somehow more exhausting this time. A few times when I was pushing, I wanted to just stop and quit, and it just felt like maybe I wouldn’t be able to push hard enough and finish this out. All of the sudden, I heard some whispering and the midwife sounded a bit anxious when she asked me to push a little harder and longer. My first thought was “I don’t think I can” but I asked what was wrong and she responded that the baby’s heart rate was dropping during contractions. I immediately knew that meant her cord was likely wrapped around her neck. I had a moment of panic…often, when they suspect the cord is wrapped around the neck, they rush to have you do a c-section. I then focused in on the midwife and did my best to push her out as quickly as I could. Since I was only pushing for about 10 minutes, it must have only been another 3-5 minutes. I think I pushed about 3 more times and finally felt her head push through. It stung for a moment, and then the relief was instant. A second later I did one more push and her shoulders started to follow. Immediately, the intense contractions were done, and I just felt relief wash over me.

I heard the midwife yelling “wait” and taking over from Elliot (who was helping to “catch” the baby). I then did one more small push and she was out! There was some scurrying to quickly cut the cord, and she seemed quiet for a minute. After what seemed like a very long pause, I heard her crying out! They then placed her on my belly while they finished cutting the cord.

I later learned that when she popped through, her cord was wrapped around her neck…twice. They scurried a bit to untangle her, and did not want me to finish pushing her out for fear that the cord would tighten. Because of the commotion, Elliot was deprived a bit of doing the final part of the delivery…but her safety obviously came first. They cut the cord and collected the cord blood. We also learned that there was some meconium in the amniotic fluid, so they had to bring in a neonatalogist to check her lungs. Luckily, she had started breathing on her own and her lungs were clear. I managed to escape without a single tear…no need for any stitches and minimal swelling/bruising.

Her apgar scores were perfect…9 and 9. She weighed 6 lbs 10 ozs and they measured her at 19 1/4 inches long. She has very long fingers and toes, and her feet are so skinny (unlike her brother who had wide and square feet). Her finger nails are actually long, too – even longer than mine! She will have beautiful hands and nails one day. I think we might need to go take her for a manicure this week! Her skin is very dry, and she has all this hangy…well, old lady skin on her hands and feet. Her skin appears to be very sensitive – she seems to be breaking out at every little thing (must get that from me). She has hair…but not nearly as much as Micah or as dark. It was also kind of curly. It is very long…just not as thick. Too bad – Micah had such great hear it would have been amazing on a little girl!

My friend Heather was waiting outside, and they sent her in a few minutes after I gave birth. About 15 minutes after she was born, we received another delivery – a pink teddy bear and some balloons from our family friends Gail and Steven! It was amazing.

They had to give her a couple of vaccinations, and then I got to breast feed for a bit. Unlike her brother, Twoey latched! She seemed to be doing well. They had to test her blood sugars, and those were perfect. About an hour or so later, the nurse gave her a bath and cleaned her up, and then we were moved into our current room.

My parents came by to visit as we were moving and got a chance to meet her. They only stayed for a little while, though, and then they went home to take care of a few things. They returned a few hours later, and my father and Elliot went to go pick up Micah from daycare. Micah met his sister around 5:30…but, to be honest, he was not so interested in her. In fact, he would not come anywhere near me while I was holding her! Micah spent most of the time playing with the balloons.

Around 7:00, my friend returned to the hospital with dinner for all of us – we sat together in the family room and ate dinner before everyone went home. It was a nice evening. I guess all I can say is that Micah, while indifferent to his sister, seemed just fine.

Remember that I mentioned my Saturday afternoon conference that Twoey conveniently mucked up? Well, they have been quite kind and are setting up a conference line for me, so I will be giving my presentation by phone from the hospital today. In the end, it all worked out!

Filed Under: birth story, natural child birth, Twoey

Big Step Today

August 25, 2008 by Jessica

At my last appointment, the midwife “yelled” at us for not enrolling in a birthing class yet. For as ready as I am to be a mommy and to meet this little guy, I guess I am completely avoiding thinking about the birth part of this process. We haven’t even picked out furniture, or decided on a name, or chosen the bedding, or started a registry, how can it possibly be time to think about birthing!?! I keep thinking there is so much time for everything later.

For me, I guess the biggest part of thinking about the birthing process is my anxiety over needles. Okay – I’ll be honest – it isn’t just a general anxiety about needles. Yes, I’ll admit it – my name is Jessica, and I have a doctor-certified phobia of needles. My doctors had given me a referral to a psychiatrist months ago to deal with this . . . and I’ve been sitting on the referral.

At our last appointment, we discussed birthing classes. I am planning to try a natural child birth (prompted in large part by my overwhelming phobia of needles – I’d rather feel every contraction and rip than have a needle stuck in my back ANY day). I’m guessing that if I have to have a c-section, they will likely have to knock me unconscious, because I can’t imagine how they will get a needle in my back to keep me lucid during a c-section. After our discussion, the midwife recommended that we try a hypnobirthing class. Yes, I agree – it does sound a tad bit “new-age” and crazy to me. I think that is why I’ve been delaying the process of signing up. The midwife thought it would give me techniques for coping and self-relaxation that would allow me more control over my emotions and my response to any needles that will be used during child birth. The concept of control is appealing to me . . . but part of me thinks I’m too practical and logical for something as “silly” as hypnosis to ever work.

Elliot and I had a long discussion the other night and decided that this is the right choice for us, and we are now committed and trying to get excited about hypnobirthing. Now, if I could just stop chuckling every time I say “hypnobirthing” that would be a vast improvement! I contacted 2 locations, and we have to decide which place we will be taking our class. I plan to sign us up this week.

After tackling the birthing class issue, I realized that part of my aversion to picking a class had a lot to do with my needle phobia. I have been informed (although I am currently choosing not to believe) that I will have to be on IV antibiotics during labor because I am a Strep B carrier. This Strep B issue has thrown a kink in my needle-free birth plan, and has me incredibly anxious. Let’s just say I cannot imagine how any anesthesiologist is going to get a needle in me to give me antibiotics I don’t particularly want without getting a black eye and possibly losing a few teeth. And that is the best case scenario – I’ve been known to take out a room full of nurses and doctors who coming bearing needles.

Once this obvious connection dawned on me, I decided to take charge of my phobia and call the doctor. Naturally, the doctor was not in, and I left a message. About one hour later, the office manager returned my call. It only took about 3 minutes on the phone with her before I was filled with anxiety and practically in tears. I asked about phobia treatments, and after hearing the long spiel about the costs for treatment, they don’t participate with insurance, we have to pay out of pocket, blah blah blah . . . she informs me they plan to treat my needle phobia by bringing me into the office and repeatedly stabbing me with needles until I get over it. Okay, perhaps I am over-simplifying the process a bit, but that was the gist of it. I informed the office manager that I did not think that approach would work for me, and I politely thanked her for her time and hung up the phone.

At this point, my anxiety hit a new peak as the realization dawned on me that I will be going into labor and needing an IV with this phobia looming over me, and no coping mechanisms to help improve the experience for me. About one hour later, the doctor from the phobia center called back to try and convince me that the needle stabbing process would, in fact, benefit me. I just know that nothing she said offered me any comfort. Her philosophy was basically that exposure to the needles would make me see I’m being ridiculous, and I would magically get over my fears when I realize the needles won’t kill me. I would not say this doctor conveyed a warm fuzzy feeling. In fact, her thick German accent created visions of a masculine-looking German frau dressed in Nazi garb strapping me to a table and repeatedly (and sadistically) stabbing me with needles and hooking me up to IVs as her wicked and maniacal laughter reverberates around the darkened room. Not that I have a vivid imagination.

While I sat here hyperventilating, I went back and looked at one of the hypnobirthing web sites . . . and realized that one of the locations is a full hypnosis center! I put in a call and left a message about hypnosis and phobias. About one hour ago, the doctor called me back to discuss treatment of phobias. I explained my situation . . . and she seemed sympathetic. She did not laugh, nor did she tell me she would stab me with needles until I got over it. She asked if I knew the root of the problem, and I shared my story with her (short version – bad allergic reaction to an immunization as a child, followed up 6 years later with a bad IV that damaged a nerve in my hand). She talked a lot about emotional energy, and how negative emotions can sometimes override the body’s internal logic and control functions. She made me feel that it was possible to take control of my emotions, and release them in a way that would let my logical brain dominate over my fear. I am still not sure if I believe in hypnosis, but on Friday I am going in for my first session to give it a try! I think even if it gives me the confidence to face this, or a few coping techniques, it will be well worth the money and effort.

Filed Under: hypnobirthing, natural child birth, needle phobia

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Eat-Sleep-Love | Maryland DC & Virginia Sleep Coach, Baby Planner, Maternity & Child Consultant

"I was exhausted and out of ideas when I consulted with Jessica.  She gave me all the tools I needed to help my children sleep better. Thank you, Jessica, for making our home a happier one!"

-Kari

Mom to 2 year old quadruplets
Eat-Sleep-Love | Maryland DC & Virginia Sleep Coach, Baby Planner, Maternity & Child Consultant

"I was exhausted and out of ideas when I consulted with Jessica.  She gave me all the tools I needed to help my children sleep better. Thank you, Jessica, for making our home a happier one!"

-Kari

Mom to 2 year old quadruplets
Eat-Sleep-Love | Maryland DC & Virginia Sleep Coach, Baby Planner, Maternity & Child Consultant
"Our son did not know how to fall asleep on his own, sleep through the night or stay in bed past 5:00am. Jessica was there every step of the way, offering advice, suggestions and support. Her step by step plan made for easy transitions and successful milestones. We cannot thank her enough for all her work and support!"
T. and S.

Parents to 2.5 year old boy

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