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Maternity & Parenting Center

Crazy Day

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Wow…I’m exhausted. Micah woke up on the late side yesterday, and we did a mad dash to get hi to his art class before daycare…only to find out they canceled the class and forgot to tell us. We dropped him at daycare and came home. We got a bit of work done, but then we ran out to go to my condo to work on getting it ready for sale next week. We spent about an hour cleaning things out, then went to my my midwife appointment. The baby was doing well – I’m still 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced (or so). I was hoping for some more progress, but no such luck! I think she will be staying put for a little while longer. My belly was measuring around 35 weeks (I never got bigger than that with Micah). They did my group B strep test…let’s hope it comes back negative!

After the appointment, we came home. I finished putting a few things away, got a bit more work done, and then the architect and the builder came by. We talked about the new bid, finalized a few other pieces of information – and now we wait for a formal written bid (hopefully to come in on Monday). If the bid comes back as promised, we are all set to move forward and get these renovations on the road! Right after our meeting, Elliot ran out to pick Micah up from daycare. He did not nap at all yesterday, so cranky does not even begin to describe Micah’s mood last night. He was really difficult all through dinner, and we finally gave in and just put Sesame Street on for an hour before taking him upstairs for a bath and bedtime.

Micah woke a bit on the early side this morning (just before 8). He was still pretty cranky through breakfast, unfortunately. The babysitter, Christin, arrived at 9:00, and she helped keep him calm and get him dressed. My father showed up around 9:45 – it was the first day of the new semester of his Kidville classes, and unfortunately, I screwed up and scheduled an ultrasound during class. I wanted to go with Micah and Christin to show her the ropes, but I just couldn’t be in two places at once. My father volunteered to come down and go in with them so she would not have to do it on her own. Apparently, they had a great time – my father left the first class for a bit to run errands, but he was a huge help getting them down there and all settled into class.

While they were in class, Elliot and I went for the ultrasound. Twoey looked great…she is still head down. She was measuring at about 35 weeks (same as Micah at this point). They guestimated her weight at around 5 lbs 15 ozs (which I think is a bit smaller than they predicted for Micah at this point). I think she is going to be small like Micah. They confirmed a whole lot of hair again, too, so I think we are going to have another baby with crazy hair! She passed her biophysical profile with flying covers, scoring a perfect 8/8.

We made it home around 11:30. We scheduled Micah for back-to-back classes, so they did not come home until about 12:30. My father left and went about his day, and Christin fed Micah lunch. Our organizer, Leslie, showed up here around 12:00 – I immediately took her upstairs to help me finish digging out the bedroom. In the corner of the bedroom, I’ve had one last box that I never unpacked after we moved in, and a pile of a few other things. Since I gave up my office when we moved here, I don’t really have a place to store all of my papers and business items. Unfortunately, they’ve been getting a bit unwieldy. We sorted the box, sorted all of my papers, divided everything up for filing, and threw out several bags of unnecessary junk. I now have a space in the room to put a small dresser for Twoey’s clothing until we move into our bigger place. I feel SOOO much better to have unloaded a bit more (and Leslie also attacked Elliot’s half of the room and unloaded a bunch of his junk, too). So, things are looking up – we’ve significantly de-cluttered, which will make packing up to move MUCH easier (and I don’t have to feel like keeping the baby in our bedroom is a health hazard!).

Micah went down for his nap a little after 1:00 pm. While I was working with Leslie, Christin brought her friend Megan over (who previously babysat for us). Megan is thinking about changing her job, and might be interested in working for us as Micah and Twoey’s nanny beginning in September!! I’m so excited – if this works out, it really will be a great solution for us. She is responsible, good with children, and she is willing to work for a very reasonable amount of money since she is only 20 and has never been a nanny before (although she has TONS of babysitting experience). She would like to be a party planner when she “grows up” and my father has a lot of party planning connections (he owns a stationery business and does a lot of work in that field). We think we can hire her and help get her some internships/other part-time work in the party planning industry. Our hope is that she’ll work for us for two years full time (and maybe another year or so part-time), and that as our need decreases, we can slowly help her take off on the career of her dreams. Let’s see if this works out!

At 3:00, Leslie left. I was amazed at how much we accomplished in three hours. My mom normally comes on Thursday nights for date night, but she has had a rough week at work (and an unexpected trip to the dentist), so I told her she could take the night for herself if she needed it. She apologized, but decided to head home after work. I’m just so lucky she gives us as much time as she does! Since Christin is desperate for more hours and to earn more money, I asked her if she would mind staying later tonight. She happily agreed! When Micah woke up from his nap, she asked if she could take him over to her mom’s (Laura’s) house. Laura babysits my friend Niki and Eric’s kids on Thursdays (that is how I found Christin last year), and Micah loves playing with them and loves going to their house. I said it was fine, and off they went! They played in the baby pool, and played with trains. Christin called and asked if they could stay at Laura’s house through dinner, and I said that was fine. When they took off, Elliot and I decided to head back to my condo to finish emptying it and do all the touch-up painting that needed to be done. By the way, I love those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers – they did a great job removing all kinds of scuffs and issues. We stayed there for about 2 1/2 hours, decided not to do anything more for date night, then made it back here before Micah’s bedtime. We walked through the door, and Micah was sitting quietly, cuddling with Christin, and all dressed in his pajamas. We got to spend some time with him and put him to bed, so it was a nice evening. Christin took off after a VERY long day, but they both seemed to have a great time (and we managed to accomplish a lot today).

I can’t believe we still have another day left this week! I’m looking forward to the long weekend. We are going out to dinner on Saturday night with all of my cousins. We are thinking of having a few people over on Monday afternoon/evening for a Memorial Day….gathering. Very small and low-key, but hopefully it will be fun. We want to keep it small and simple (I am not up for working too hard…and I want to be able to easily cancel if I go into labor).

So…happy Memorial Day Weekend!!

It’s French Open Time!!

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I am an avid tennis fan…and I’m so excited to be watching the French Open again! Personally, I’m in love with Rafael Nadal, and I truly despise Roger Federer. I’m so glad to see Rafa back in top form and ready to reclaim his title (that Federer won last year by default). I also still love watching Andy Roddick…but clay just isn’t his surface. As for the women…I hate Justine Henin, and I’m definitely rooting for the Williams sisters.

This afternoon (after his nap), Micah came downstairs to hang out with me for a bit – he took one look at the tennis on the tv and broke out into a huge grin. He started pointed at the screen and clapping, and saying….”bah-ball.” Yes, according to Micah, all balls, and all games played with a ball, are, by definition, basketball. Okay, we’ll have to work on that part, but he did love watching tennis. He sat snuggled up with me and we watched Roddick play today. He screamed “Whoa” when they hit the ball, and “boom” when the ball hit the net. He clapped when they scored points, and he screamed with joy when the players got into nice long rallies. Yes, I think I’m grooming a tennis fan, much to his daddy’s chagrin. His daddy was so worried that he removed Micah from the tennis and took him grocery shopping.

This morning, the babysitter came to help take care of Micah. She arrived at 9:00 this morning, but could only stay until 1:00. She fed him breakfast and got him dressed, took him to play at the park, fed him lunch then put him down for a nap. During that time, I managed to pack my hospital bag, shovel out the bedroom from a bunch of junk, and make Elliot clean up his junk, too. It feels so much better to have made a dent in the mess. I also got a bunch of work done. I really like having the extra help around right now!

I’m still having pretty constant contractions. The more I do, the worse they get. I’m very interested to find out whether I’ve made any progress since last week…but I doubt it. We shall see – my appointment is at 1:45 tomorrow.

Yesterday, I took my dog to the vet – her breathing was very labored again, and her hacking cough had returned. I was fairly certain that fluid was backing up in her lungs again. The doctor examined her and agreed. The good news was that there was only *some* fluid in her lungs. He decided to double her dosage of Lasix for the next two weeks. If she does well, then he will try to reduce the dosage again and see if she will maintain that way. I am supposed to take her back for another re-check either Wednesday or Friday.

Micah has been talking up a storm lately. He is starting to put words together (like “Hi there”). He knows a bunch of body parts (head, foot, belly, tongue, mouth, nose, eyes). He is saying the word “more” now (he used to just sign it), and he definitely says “hi” and “bye-bye” all the time. He is recognizing animals more and more, and he knows a bunch of the sounds animals make – his favorites are “quack” and “moo.” He loves to watch the birdies, and he is still a huge kissy-monster. He climbs all over the furniture and runs laps around the house.

I have to say, I am going to miss this time with Micah as my only child. I’m so excited to meet Twoey and get to know her, and I’m excited to see Micah become a big brother. But, at the same time, I sometimes wish I had more time with just Micah as my only focus. I love how we snuggle, and I love our time alone together in the mornings. I adore him – I truly think he is the cutest, sweetest thing that ever walked the earth, and I am just filled with love for him. I know I will love Twoey every bit as much as Micah, and I know there will be plenty of room in my life for both of them. But, this time with just Micah is special, and in a way, I know it will be a loss for both of us – it will never again be just the two of us, and I guess I’m sorry that I can’t give more of this special time to him.

I saw this posted online this week, and it really struck me…I think it articulates many of my fears about expanding our family, and perhaps my hope for how it will be:

Walk along holding your 4-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me.” And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him—as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you—only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you—-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

Childcare Update

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We are still working on figuring out a nanny solution (either a part-time nanny just for us, or a nanny-share situation with friends of ours), but in the interim, we decided to take the spot that opened up at the daycare. They offered us Mondays and Fridays (lousy days) but we decided to take just Mondays. Until May 20, they have openings everyday, so we can take advantage of drop-off days in addition to Mondays. We are going to test this out and see how it goes. If the nanny thing falls through, it gets us in the door at the daycare, and we should be able to work out better days by the Fall. We went back to visit the facility this past Wednesday to see the classroom and meet his primary caretaker (he will be a Little Lamb). I was crying while we were there . . . I know I need to get help so I can get my work done . . . but the thought of someone else caring for my little guy breaks my heart. He is thriving, and I’m so proud of the fact that we did that, and I don’t think anyone can make him grow and thrive the way we can. But I do realize that I can’t do it all myself. I keep thinking I’ll feel more comfortable with daycare when he is older – I can kind of consider it early preschool at that point. I guess we’ll try this out, and it will give me a chance to see how I’m feeling and if this will work for us. We can add more days if necessary, or cancel our spot and switch to a nanny. I really do believe that this facility will be wonderful for Micah as he gets older, but I wish I was ready for him to be in daycare right now. Keep your fingers crossed that we can find a nanny situation!