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It’s French Open Time!!

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I am an avid tennis fan…and I’m so excited to be watching the French Open again! Personally, I’m in love with Rafael Nadal, and I truly despise Roger Federer. I’m so glad to see Rafa back in top form and ready to reclaim his title (that Federer won last year by default). I also still love watching Andy Roddick…but clay just isn’t his surface. As for the women…I hate Justine Henin, and I’m definitely rooting for the Williams sisters.

This afternoon (after his nap), Micah came downstairs to hang out with me for a bit – he took one look at the tennis on the tv and broke out into a huge grin. He started pointed at the screen and clapping, and saying….”bah-ball.” Yes, according to Micah, all balls, and all games played with a ball, are, by definition, basketball. Okay, we’ll have to work on that part, but he did love watching tennis. He sat snuggled up with me and we watched Roddick play today. He screamed “Whoa” when they hit the ball, and “boom” when the ball hit the net. He clapped when they scored points, and he screamed with joy when the players got into nice long rallies. Yes, I think I’m grooming a tennis fan, much to his daddy’s chagrin. His daddy was so worried that he removed Micah from the tennis and took him grocery shopping.

This morning, the babysitter came to help take care of Micah. She arrived at 9:00 this morning, but could only stay until 1:00. She fed him breakfast and got him dressed, took him to play at the park, fed him lunch then put him down for a nap. During that time, I managed to pack my hospital bag, shovel out the bedroom from a bunch of junk, and make Elliot clean up his junk, too. It feels so much better to have made a dent in the mess. I also got a bunch of work done. I really like having the extra help around right now!

I’m still having pretty constant contractions. The more I do, the worse they get. I’m very interested to find out whether I’ve made any progress since last week…but I doubt it. We shall see – my appointment is at 1:45 tomorrow.

Yesterday, I took my dog to the vet – her breathing was very labored again, and her hacking cough had returned. I was fairly certain that fluid was backing up in her lungs again. The doctor examined her and agreed. The good news was that there was only *some* fluid in her lungs. He decided to double her dosage of Lasix for the next two weeks. If she does well, then he will try to reduce the dosage again and see if she will maintain that way. I am supposed to take her back for another re-check either Wednesday or Friday.

Micah has been talking up a storm lately. He is starting to put words together (like “Hi there”). He knows a bunch of body parts (head, foot, belly, tongue, mouth, nose, eyes). He is saying the word “more” now (he used to just sign it), and he definitely says “hi” and “bye-bye” all the time. He is recognizing animals more and more, and he knows a bunch of the sounds animals make – his favorites are “quack” and “moo.” He loves to watch the birdies, and he is still a huge kissy-monster. He climbs all over the furniture and runs laps around the house.

I have to say, I am going to miss this time with Micah as my only child. I’m so excited to meet Twoey and get to know her, and I’m excited to see Micah become a big brother. But, at the same time, I sometimes wish I had more time with just Micah as my only focus. I love how we snuggle, and I love our time alone together in the mornings. I adore him – I truly think he is the cutest, sweetest thing that ever walked the earth, and I am just filled with love for him. I know I will love Twoey every bit as much as Micah, and I know there will be plenty of room in my life for both of them. But, this time with just Micah is special, and in a way, I know it will be a loss for both of us – it will never again be just the two of us, and I guess I’m sorry that I can’t give more of this special time to him.

I saw this posted online this week, and it really struck me…I think it articulates many of my fears about expanding our family, and perhaps my hope for how it will be:

Walk along holding your 4-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me.” And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him—as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you—only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you—-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

35 weeks and a trip to L&D

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I’m now over 35 weeks pregnant (I believe today is 35 weeks 2 days). This pregnancy has flown by, and we are still not prepared for Twoey’s arrival. Oh well…working on that part. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a ton of time to do much about that yet. Tuesday and Wednesday I spent the entire day on a telephone conference/webinar. I was supposed to attend a work meeting in Atlanta, but could not travel due to the pregnancy. So, I attended virtually instead. I hate sitting on the phone like that all day! Elliot was a huge help and took care of Micah all day while I sat on the phone and worked. Micah was definitely cranky in the morning – and can you believe he actually took a 4 hour nap for Elliot? I never get that lucky!

As for this pregnancy, I’ve been doing better than my pregnancy with Micah. I’ve had contractions, but things seemed to be stable and I had not been worried about them. Once I hit 34 weeks, the relief set in, and I really haven’t paid much attention to the contractions at all. However, last week, I noticed a change in my contractions – they moved more towards my back. I’ve been uncomfortable, but hanging in there. I mentioned something about it at my last appointment, but they felt it might just be because Twoey had changed positions (she moved down and was rear-facing in “birthing” position).

On Tuesday after my conference call, I started experiencing some heavier contractions in the evening, and I was very uncomfortable. I fell asleep, but woke up to the sound of Micah screaming his head off (teething again). Elliot and I took turns going in to comfort him. While I was in his room sitting on the glider and rocking with him, all of the sudden I started to feel these incredibly sharp pains in my rib/side and right down through my cervix. It was excruciating, and I had to get Elliot to come in and take over. I literally hobbled back to the bedroom in pain and lay down on the bed. After propping myself up with my pregnancy pillows and relaxing, the stabbing pain seemed to subside a bit. At that point, the contractions were really intense – significantly more so than at any other point this pregnancy. I knew I had taken terbutaline, so I decided to ride it out.

While the contractions were really intense, they did not seem to be coming any more frequently than every 7-10 minutes (only 6-8 an hour). Elliot kept asking if we should call the midwives or go to the hospital, but I kept insisting it was nothing. My thought was that if it was labor, the contractions would start to happen more frequently. I also knew from my pregnancy with Micah that I could go through a lot and not be in labor. I also felt that waking my parents up at 3 am (well, 4 am at this point), forcing them to come over and running up to the hospital only for them to tell me it was nothing and go home seemed silly. I had another 8:00 am conference call for work that I really didn’t want to miss, so I decided that as long as the contractions did not increase in frequency, I was just going to ride it out. I knew I’d be late for my call and exhausted all day, so it just seemed like a lose-lose situation. I’m sure it helped my state of mind that I’m already 35 weeks – if, in fact, I did go into labor, the baby would be fine. She might not even need any NICU time.

Around 5:00 am or so, I finally was able to sleep a little bit. I got on my conference call bright and early Wednesday morning while Elliot took care of Micah and brought him to daycare. The contractions (and the intensity) continued all day, and when my call wrapped up around 5:00 pm, I decided to call the midwives. Mostly, I was wondering if I should take more medicine or if we should bother to change to a different medication for the next few days. Much to my surprise, they insisted that I meet them at the hospital to be seen. I was so frustrated! They told me I could wait until after rush hour. Elliot and I talked it over, and I decided he should stay home with Micah. My parents offered to come down, but I did not think they should cancel their plans. I opted not to pack a bag and drove myself to the hospital. I got checked in and they hooked me up to a monitor. Turns out, I was having frequent contractions, but every 7-10 minutes I was having a more intense contraction. Nothing earth shattering. They did a quick check and determined that I am 50% effaced and about 1 cm dilated (she said just barely – she might even call it a dimple instead). The baby’s heartrate was a little too steady, so they gave me some juice, turned me on my side, and kept monitoring her. Once they got her heartrate bouncing around a bit, they told me I was free to come home.

So…not a productive evening. The good news is everything is fine, and at this point, I should be able to make it to 36 weeks. They will re-check me next week, but once I hit 36 weeks, my body can do whatever it wants and they will not worry about labor. She thinks with rest and the terbutaline I should be able to hang in there at least another 5 days. If my pregnancy with Micah is any example, I could contract for weeks before my water breaks!

I’ve decided I’m not going to call again unless my water breaks…I don’t feel like making any more pointless trips to the hospital. I do need to get my act in gear and pack my hospital bag and maybe a few things for Twoey. I can’t believe she’ll be here soon!

Today our babysitter, Christin, (the one who took care of Micah last summer) started again. She’ll be working here on Tuesdays and Thursdays all summer (and perhaps I’ll bring her in to help out with the baby on other days, too). She has been a huge help – we went to the park, and she chased him all over the place. I am feeling a lot of contractions and pressure, so it was nice to pass off that responsibility. Tonight we will be taking Micah to Kidville’s grand opening event (they just relocated to Bethesda) and then we’ll be headed out for date night.

Two Steps Behind

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It seems that lately I am always woefully behind in updating this blog. I think I’m just so overwhelmed with everything going on right now in my life that I cannot seem to stay on top of it all. In general, I would have to say that the past few weeks have been rough – filled with chaos, big decisions and stress. Luckily, all of this craziness is laced with good, but I’m having a hard time enjoying the high points right now.
I think to catch everyone up, I probably need to backtrack to my post on March 24. First, I’ll start with a cute story about Micah. I can’t remember now which night it was – I know that Elliot wasn’t home and I was putting Micah to bed by myself. I asked Micah if he was ready to go take a bath and go night night, and he immediately ran to the stairs. I opened the gate for him, and he climbed upstairs and made a beeline for my bedroom (where we bathe him). He walked around to my side of the bed and grabbed the video monitor (he loves to play with it). I unplugged it so he could have his toy, and then I watched him as he used the doggy steps by the bed to climb up onto the bed. He was just so cute as he sat and played and talked! He also really loves bath time – he plays with his toys, he laughs, and he sticks his face in the water. I should take a few pictures/videos soon.
Anyway, Thursday, March 25, was a typical Thursday. We got up at our regular time, I did some work, and then Elliot and I left a bit early to take my car to be detailed (we were getting ready to trade it in, so we wanted it to look nice). We dropped off the car on the way to taking Micah to his Kidville class, which worked out well. After class, we raced home so Micah could take a nap. I have to say, Micah has been so funny lately. When he is tired, if you ask him if he wants to go upstairs and go “night night,” he drops whatever he is doing, runs to the stairs and bangs on the gate. If you open the gate for him, he hastily climbs upstairs to his bedroom. It makes nap time and bed time so much easier!



Shortly thereafter, our architect showed up with the latest draft of our designs. The good news – he figured out how to give us the “bare minimum” of our request within the space/budget we had originally discussed. The “bad” news – he also showed us some designs with a slightly bigger budget that would give us everything we had hoped for (but more than we expected). Unfortunately, we are already a few weeks behind in the decision-making process, and this placed us even further behind. We could not give the architect the go-ahead to finalize the drawings until we know which design approach we want. Naturally, we need to know how the change in plans will affect our budget before we can make that decision. So, we were on hold until we could meet with our builder and discuss costs with him.
Thursday night was date night…and, once again, we decided that we needed to use our precious date time to go car shopping. This time, we headed to the Lexus dealership where we leased my car. We wanted to discuss the lease rates (and get a trade-in value on my car). Unfortunately, we felt we were low-balled a bit on the price for my car, but we really did get a great rate on the lease. After all the car shopping we had done, we decided that leasing the same vehicle again was likely our best bet. We were torn between leasing the 2010 RX 350 and the 2010 RX 450h (hybrid version). There was a definite price difference between the two – the 2010 version of my car would have lowered our monthly payments, but the 2010 hybrid version would increase them. Elliot felt strongly about switching to the hybrid version (he felt the $50+ per month in gas savings would make up for the increase in monthly payments). After our meeting, we decided to call it a night, and we headed home without even bothering with a date night dinner.
On Friday, I went to have my one hour glucose tolerance test done and then took my car to be appraised at Carmax (we were hoping to get a stronger offer to take to the dealership, but no such luck). Their offer was the same as the dealership, unfortunately. Elliot came and met me at Carmax after his meeting, and then we drove back to Lexus. While we were there, we met with the manager on the “certified pre-owned” side of the business. He had previously been a salesman who leased me all three of my prior vehicles, so I’ve known him for years. We talked him into increasing the trade-in offer on my car, and while we were there, we decided to look at the 2007 used (sorry – pre-owned) hybrids. The hybrids were in great shape, and the price was right. We test drove two of them, and we priced them both. It turns out, purchasing the 2007 hybrid would cost us less per month than leasing the new 2010 non-hybrid. We tentatively told the manager that we would like to get the 2007 used car. Unfortunately, our first choice (the less expensive option) had a deposit on it. The manager was kind, and he ended up lowering the price on the other vehicle to match the price of the first car we wanted. We test drove it, and asked him for a day to think about it.
We had a quiet evening at home on Friday night, and on Saturday I worked on decorating a cake for my friend Laurie’s bachelorette party. At some point, we did call the dealership and tell them that we wanted to buy the 2007 used hybrid, and asked them to hold it for us for pickup either on Sunday or Monday. I made a slightly…naughty…cake. It was designed to look like the chest of a male stripper, and I have to say, he was designed to do some stripping. After I finished the cake, I got dressed and ready for a night of festivities. I have to say…bachelorette parties are not quite the same while you are pregnant! We went out to dinner and had a 3 course meal at a fantastic restaurant. We did head out to one or two bars, but we mostly sat around talking at a table – our days of carousing seem to be long gone! Nearly all of the women there were married (and most of us had children). It was a fun evening, but I was completely exhausted by the end of the night.

After all the running around on Saturday, I wasn’t feeling well, and my contractions were getting much worse on Sunday. On Sunday, Elliot woke up early to cook Easter dinner for 1500 people at Martha’s Table. Normally, I would cook with him, but we did not have anyone to watch Micah, so I stayed behind this time. Micah and I had a fun day together. Micah has just been so cute – he plays with his toys, he laughs at himself, he chases Nugget, we cuddle together, and we read books. Especially Dr. Seuss’ The Foot Book (over and over and over….). By the time Elliot got home, I was exhausted and really not feeling well – I had to lay down for a few hours to deal with the contractions and nausea.
I also knew that Monday night was the first night of Passover – and our first Seder. Passover is the holiday that commemorates the Exodus of the Jews from Egypt. We have a Seder (a special dinner) for the first two nights of Passover. At the Seder, we eat special foods to remember the journey out of Egypt and the hardships of slavery we suffered at the hands of Pharaoh. Our plan this year was to go to my parents’ house for the first Seder to celebrate with my parents, Jeremy, Jen, Paige and Peyton. We decided to postpone the second Seder until the third night because our oldest niece was flying in from a semester abroad in South Africa on Wednesday morning. By holding the second Seder until Wednesday night, Melissa would be able to celebrate with us.
When I could finally move again on Sunday night after my nap, I got up to start preparing the food I promised to make for dinner at my parents’. I started by making charoset – basically, it is a mixture of chopped apples, cinnamon, walnuts, and sweet wine, which is intended to symbolize the mortar used by the Jews when we were slaves in Egypt and building pyramids for Pharaoh. I decided I was too exhausted to do anything else, so I went to bed.
On Monday, I balanced getting my work done with cooking and getting another weekly progesterone shot in my ass! I have to say, I was quite impressed with myself – while drafting several documents and handling 3 conference calls, I managed to make a batch of kosher for passover brownies (no flour or leavening in them) and a broccoli souffle. In between calls and baking, I had my shot and got back to work. I got everything in the oven by early afternoon – just in time for the architect and the builder to arrive. We met with them for a few hours to discuss the status of the project. The builder was able to give us a price quote on expanding our project. We were pleasantly surprised that it was MUCH less money than we expected. Consequently, we decided that if we could secure the funds for the project, we felt it was worth the investment to do the expanded addition. So…that left us with a funding challenge. We had set our budget based on the current funds we had available. With the expanded project, we definitely need either a construction loan, or an increase in our home equity line of credit, or to sell my condo, or to refinance the house, and we just did not know whether that was reasonable. So, we told the architect and the builder we needed a few days to figure out the financing to decide whether we would go with the expanded project or if we would have to go with the original plan.
With that, we hastily hurried them out the door, grabbed our stuff, and dashed off to pick Micah up from daycare so we could get to my parents’ house in time for the Seder. After we grabbed Micah and made our way to the dealership…I realized I’d forgotten the charoset at home! I did all that work and promised my mother, then promptly left it at home. I felt terrible – she had to mix up a batch on the fly (as if she didn’t do enough work for the dinner). On our way to dinner, we decided to stop off at the dealership to pick up my “new” used car. Micah had a chance to dance to the music in the dealership.




We signed the paperwork, but it was taking too long. I started to get really annoyed, and the manager said they could finish things up and drop the car off at my parents’ house later that night. We decided to take them up on their offer and raced over to my parents’ house.
When we arrived at my parents’ house, we found our close friend Rayna there (who was in for the holiday) to visit us. Micah and his cousins showed off and played with Rayna for a bit, and then we started our dinner. The Seder actually went quite well. It was extremely short, but we decided to do a child-friendly version. We explained the story of Passover and did all the symbolic parts, and we sang a few children’s Passover songs. And then we ate…gefilte fish, an egg (to symbolize the start of new beginnings), brisket, turkey breast, broccoli souffle, and asparagus. We topped off our meal with brownies and mandel bread (kind of like biscotti, but made without flour for the holiday). Towards the end of the meal, the guys from the dealership showed up to drop off my car! We made sure everything was in order, and we drove my “new” used car home. I have to say, while I’m glad it is all done, I really hate that my “new” car looks EXACTLY like my old car. It kind of takes the “new” feeling away. It is a hybrid, so that is an improvement. I’m just glad the whole struggle/debate is done.
Tuesday was crazy again – I tried juggling Micah and work and preparing for Elliot’s family to arrive. The cleaning lady was here and I had to put everything in order and work with Elliot to prepare the dinner (and organize the kitchen and set the table….). Elliot made turkey loaf and meat loaf, and we prepared roasted potatoes and we served green beans with an Italian dressing on them. Tuesday night, Steven, Jodi, Brian and Stephanie arrived, and my parents joined us for dinner. After dinner, Steven and Jodi went to a hotel near the airport to stay, and the kids stayed with us for the night.


As I mentioned in my last post, things turned crazy on the home front that night – we rushed Nugget to the emergency room in the wee hours of the night Wednesday morning. Bright and early on Wednesday morning, Melissa landed. Somewhere during that time, I received a call from the doctors that I failed the one hour glucose test. I spent the day juggling visits to the vet emergency room, coordinating with family, and trying to cook a huge meal. Luckily, my mom had made extra briskets and chicken soup for us, so we just had to heat that up. Elliot made turkey, and I did the side dishes. Jodi helped me make a spinach souffle, matzah balls, an apple charlotte, and asparagus. Melissa had brought us a special gourmet vinegar from South Africa, so we used the vinegar in the dressing for the asparagus. Brian helped me make a second batch of brownies for dessert. Despite all the chaos, we managed to get everything finished and it tasted delicious. We were a bit disorganized (we were racing around trying to set the table, find the Hagaddahs, and put everything on the Seder plate). The Seder was not exactly smooth…but we managed. I cut out several of the dishes I had planned to make, but in the end, there was plenty of food and it all went well.
While it was wonderful to have everyone in town, I have to admit I wanted nothing more than to cancel the whole dinner and curl up in bed and cry. I realized as I was sitting down for dinner that I’d been in the same outfit for 48 hours. I didn’t even have the energy to go upstairs and change at that point. It was just a long and emotional day, and I have to say, I was a bit relieved when everyone left. I immediately drove back down to the vet hospital to sit with Nugget…and left Elliot with all the mess to clean up!
While I was visiting Nugget, she seemed okay – happy to see me, but still having difficulty breathing. They thought she was doing better and were hopeful that she would be released from the hospital in the morning. While I was there, she would not stay in her oxygen tent – she just wanted to be held. They gave her some food and she scarfed it up! The worst part of the evening…she peed all over me. Twice. The medicine she was on was intended to rid her body of fluids, and it made it difficult for her to control her bladder. It was awful, and she looked so embarrassed when it happened. So, after being in the same outfit for 48 hours, I ended up in a urine-soaked dirty outfit. Fitting end to the day, right?
I stayed with her about one hour…and watched a cat die. I was a mess – the poor cat had some kind of a bad reaction (possibly to a vaccine) and they kept working on him and working on him and trying to administer CPR, but they just couldn’t get him going again. The owner came back and the whole experience was awful. It actually reminded me of a visit there when Nugget was just a few years old…that time, I had rushed my neighbor to the hospital with her dog, who had collapsed while we were on a walk. His name was George, and he was a St. Bernard. He died that day on the same table while we watched through the glass door. That table loomed in front of me the entire time Nugget was in the hospital. I hope I never have to see her that way on that same table.
I finally got home around 11:00 pm…and crashed. I didn’t even bother to see if Elliot had cleaned up! I figured it did not matter if there was still food on the table…Nugget wasn’t home to steal it. On Thursday morning, we woke up to another crazy day. We had to go to my ultrasound and my OB appointment and pick Nugget up from the hospital. Since Elliot needed to get his car serviced, he left a bit before us to drop his car off and get a rental. While it was there, the “Dent guy” was going to give us an estimate on fixing the damage to the car, too.
I had carefully packed up my phone and everything I needed for Micah. On his way out the door, Elliot “accidentally” grabbed my phone. I was so angry! I didn’t notice it was gone until I was almost to my mom’s office. She was going to watch Micah for us while we went to the ultrasound, and I was supposed to call her when I got there so she could come down. I had planned on having her take Micah then quickly run over to the dealership to have a few things fixed on my car (naturally, it didn’t occur to Elliot to call my mom to tell her he had my phone). Elliot was supposed to meet me at the Lexus dealership, and then we were going to drive to the ultrasound together in his car. Since I couldn’t call my mom, I had to park the car – no easy task. The parking lot was packed, so I had to park illegally. I then needed to get the stroller out, and load Micah in, and gather all his stuff together. Naturally, the accessible entrance was all the way around the front of the building. It took forever to walk around to the front, go in the accessible entrance and take the elevator upstairs. I went to my mom’s office…and she wasn’t there. I then went to the front desk…and she wasn’t there. After finding someone who recognized me and begging to use their phone so that I could call my mom’s cell phone to tell her we were there, my mom showed up and found us! I handed off Micah, borrowed her phone to call (and yell) at Elliot. The whole thing set us back 20 minutes, so I was no longer able to go to the dealership, and Elliot had to meet me at the doctor’s office.
My appointment brought mixed news. My cervix shrunk another 2 mms, but Twoey was doing really well! She was moving great, and measuring about 27 weeks 6 days (I was 28 weeks 2 days). Once again, my regular doctor wasn’t there, so we had to see the other doctor. She really bugs me. She was totally unconcerned about the contractions, and kept saying that my cervix was good even though it keeps shrinking. I mentioned that the other doctor said he would get more aggressive about treating the contractions if my cervix dropped below 3.0, but she said she was not concerned unless my cervix was below 2.0. I again pointed out that the goal was to avoid bedrest, and she told me that I could take medicine for the contractions “if I wanted to.” Well…I’m not the doctor! I felt like it shouldn’t be my call. She wrote me a prescription and told me to do whatever I wanted. I was so frustrated! What I wanted was advice and an explanation, and this doctor just always seems to shrug everything off.
We went back to pick Micah up from my mom, and Elliot took my car and Micah to the dealership to fix a few problems while I drove down in the rental to pick up the dog. She was looking much better, and I was thrilled to be bringing her home. Elliot got home and put Micah down for his nap. I still had my OB appointment, and we decided that Elliot would stay behind with Micah and the dog while I went alone. My appointment went really well. We discussed the possible gestational diabetes (and I started to monitor my sugar levels). I have to meet with a nutritionist to talk about diet, but things look promising. So far, all of my sugar levels have been normal. We also discussed my frustration with the doctor, and the midwife said she felt that I should only take the medication when my contractions are particularly frequent/strong. I felt like she gave me some good guidance, and she said that if things start to feel like they are increasing in intensity on a regular basis (or seem to move back towards real labor) then I will go on the medicines permanently. But, for right now, the contractions are not sufficiently strong or regular to warrant aggressive medication, and while my cervix is shrinking, it is not currently shrinking at a rapid rate, so she felt we would do better to continue to wait it out a bit. She thinks I still have enough time to continue avoiding bedrest.
When I returned from my appointment, Rayna and Arleen stopped by for a brief visit. It was nice catching up with them, and they got to spend a bit of time with both Micah and Nugget. Thursday night, my mom came down for date night. We just did not feel like going out with everything going on, so my mom helped with feeding Micah and entertaining him, and she helped me bathe him and put him to bed. We made sure to give Nugget lots of love and attention, too. My mom left pretty early, but the extra help was such a relief. She offered to help pack up and freeze the leftovers, but the kitchen was still such a mess that we did not even know where to begin. Instead, she suggested that she and my father return on Friday night to eat some leftovers and help us clean everything up.
On Friday, we spent the day trying to get all of our work done while Micah was at daycare. I spent a lot of time cuddling Nugget, too. We also managed to get in touch with a mortgage broker, and it seems that we can easily refinance the mortgage on the house and get the money we need to do the expanded renovations. So, we gave the architect the go-ahead to start finalizing the plans. Hopefully, we’ll be able to get back on schedule. I ran out for an hour in the afternoon to meet my friend Heather for lunch. I have to say, when 5:00 rolled around, I was so relieved that the week had ended.
My parents came over for dinner on Friday night. We ate some leftovers, and Elliot managed to get most of the dishes done (or at least in the sink). We were able to start putting things away and break down the extra table and chairs. My dad helped me put the plates and platters away, and my mom and Elliot cut the leftover brisket and meat loaf into single-sized portions for the freezer. We sent some brisket and soup home with my parents, and by the end of the night, we finally felt like we had control of the chaos.
On Saturday, we had a lazy morning. Elliot and Micah went to services, and I stayed home to do some more cleaning/organization and spend time with Nugget. After Micah woke up from his nap, we went out to meet Elliot’s cousin Dana for an early dinner (she and her husband and their 2 kids were in town unexpectedly for a quick visit). After dinner, we raced home to give Nugget her medication and put Micah to bed, and then I went out to meet my friend Niki and catch up with her for a few hours. I got home and worked with Elliot to finally finish the clean up from the prior week. We made sure everything that needed hand-washing was washed, and we put away all the platters. I wiped down the counters, and put everything back in its place. I straightened up the toys, and threw all the dirty dish towels down into the laundry room. I also set the table and prepared everything for our brunch the following morning (yes, that seemed like a good idea back when I set it up).
This morning, our friends Ellen and David (and their son Max) joined us for brunch at 11:30. Ellen is also pregnant, and due just a few weeks after me! We kept brunch nice and simple. I had cleared the buffet and cleaned up the kitchen, and did my best to control the toys in the living room. We made matzah brie (kind of like french toast, but made with matzah), an old family recipe that we call “matzkes” (which is just a sweetened farmers cheese broiled on some matzah), and some scrambled eggs. They stayed for a few hours, and the cleanup was nice and easy – I did all the dishes and we’ve got just about everything put back together again. I am hoping that our cleanup for the cleaning lady tomorrow night will be nice and simple now!
So, here is my “naked baby” running around tonight before bed.

I think I’ll conclude this post with a few photos – I finally got those “rock star photos” of Micah from our class field trip almost two weeks ago. How funny are these?









I still have to scan the ultrasound pictures from Thursday and post them, so I’ll be back with more pictures of Twoey soon!

Ouch!!

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Today was my first P17 shot. At our last appointment, I talked to my regular doctor about the other doctor’s recommendation for the shots. He said he was not sure they would help any, but he felt they could not hurt. He suggested we give them a try, at least for a few weeks. I was pretty disappointed, but agreed to do it. I was hoping he would say there was no way they would help, but no such luck! My insurance approved the shots last week, and today the home health nurse came for our first appointment.

The nurse was quite kind and patient, and we started off by filling out a bunch of forms. I talked to her about my phobia, and she seemed quite supportive and understanding. I used numbing cream before she arrived, and she said it would be no problem to inject me in the numb area. After setting everything up, I lay down on the sofa and Elliot held my hands (partially to be supportive, and partially for the safety of the nurse!). She talked me through the steps, wiped off the injection site, and then started sticking me. The numbing cream did its job – I really could not feel the needle going in at all. She gave me regular updates about how much longer the needle needed to be in (1/4 finished, 1/2 way there…). She stayed calm and steady, and that definitely helped. Poor Elliot – I might have broken a few of his fingers with all of my squeezing! I did okay – I did not yell or cry out, but I did start doing this panicky shallow breathing that got faster and louder as the shot continued. I think it made the nurse nervous and she sped up the rate of the injection. Towards the end, the shot started to sting a bit.

I’m now sitting here on a heating pad, with my rear stinging and sore. I cannot believe I have to do this for weeks on end :(. Thankfully, the nurse did not seem afraid to return next week. I hope this at least makes a difference.

Checking in on Twoey

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Today I had another appointment with the maternal fetal medicine specialist. I was just scheduled for a cervical length check and a quick consultation with the doctor to discuss my contractions. I’m happy to report that all went well – my cervix remains around 3.5-3.7 cm long, so there has not been any change since my last check. While ideal is over 4.0 cm, they are happy as long as I stay above 3.0 cms.

Much to my surprise, they decided to do another quick ultrasound of my baby girl to check her heartbeat. She is currently breech (well, butt-down). I thought she had flipped in the last day because I have been feeling her kicking (actually, it turns out punching) up higher. We actually got a beautiful little 3D picture of her face! She is still a bit young for the 3D technology, so her features were a touch blurred, but I think she might look a bit like Micah already! Yes, I’m sure NO ONE else will be able to see that from these pictures, but hey, I’m a proud mama! What do you think?



I then had a brief consultation with the doctor. My “regular” doctor there is the head of the maternal fetal medicine center, but he was out of town on vacation. I saw another doctor who was on duty today. I am certain that all of the doctors at this practice are competent, but, unfortunately, this one really does not know my history and only barely skimmed my file. We talked about my contractions, but she basically responded that as long as my cervix holds steady, they just don’t care about the contractions. I tried to ask when I should worry about them and call/seek additional medication, but I do not feel like she gave me a good answer. She then asked if I considered getting the 17P shots (a type of progesterone shot administered weekly to help prevent pre-term labor). I said that I had discussed that with the other doctor early on this pregnancy, and he recommended against it because he felt it was unlikely to help my situation because the fibroid was the source of the contractions. She shrugged and said that was a possibility, but that the shots might help if the contractions had nothing to do with the fibroid. She then said that the shots are the most effective when started around 16 weeks, and since I’m already at 22 weeks, they may not even help at this point.

So…I have a decision to make. The doctor submitted the request for the 17P shots to the insurance company. If I am approved, I have to decide whether or not to take them.

Pros:

  • They may reduce the contractions.
  • They may help me carry Twoey to term without other medications and horrible/scary bouts of contractions.
  • If I try to wait it out until the contractions are worse and I experience cervical changes, it would be too late. These shots are meant to be preventive so I do not have to deal with bedrest or contractions or oral medications or the discomfort (if it works).
  • I’m trying to think of more, but I think I’m out!

Cons:

  • I’m needle phobic – a shot every week is a bit overwhelming for me to think about. I know I can get through it if it is best for the baby, but I have to believe that to really make this happen.
  • It may not help at all and I could put myself through the needle torture for nothing.
  • Side effects – can include vomiting and nausea (already a problem for me), headaches, dizziness, swelling, and other issues I’d prefer to avoid. Not everyone has side effects, but I’m concerned because I tend to be very hormone-sensitive (and let’s be honest – I’m sure my needle phobia is playing into this fear, too).
  • It may work so well that it could cause me to be overdue or need to be induced when the time comes (an issue again because of my needle-phobia).
  • It may be unnecessary treatment – I may not end up having an issue at all with pre-term labor this pregnancy, and last pregnancy I managed just fine on the oral medications. Even if I have a repeat of last time, I could still carry to term.

Anyone have any input?

My water broke!

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Yup, after all of my moaning and cranking, it is finally time! My water broke around 6:00 am this morning while I was trying to sleep. I’d been having some back contractions again that were keeping me awake, and I couldn’t sleep last night. I woke Elliot up around 3:00 am to keep me company (poor guy). I let him go back to sleep about 1 hour later, and then at 6:00 am I felt this huge gush. At first I thought I wet the bed, then I realized my water broke. I yelped and hollered my water broke and Elliot bolted awake. He grabbed me a towel (thank goodness I put that pee pad under my side of the bed!) and I went and got in the shower. He called the midwife, then stripped the bed and put the sheets in the washing machine. The midwife said we could take our time getting to the hospital. Apparently, things can slow down a bit the few hours after your water breaks. She said we can hang out here as long as we want, or head straight to the hospital. My contractions are picking up a bit now, so we will probably head to the hospital shortly. She is there finishing up a delivery. I’m so excited this is happening today – this is my “favorite” of the 3 midwives, so I’m very happy she will be the one attending the delivery.

More Disappointment

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Once again, I thought I was in full-blown labor last night. I had been having more contractions and cramping all day since my appointment yesterday, and around midnight the cramping/pain in my back worsened. I decided to head upstairs and try and get comfortable in bed. Elliot & I watched some tv together, and around 2:00 I drifted off to sleep. At 3:00 am, the contractions woke me up. By 3:30, I was so uncomfortable that I woke Elliot up and begged him to rub my back. He also ran downstairs and got me my ipod so I could listen to my relaxation tapes. I was tossing and turning, and just miserable. At 4:00, I decided to try the bathtub. By the way, the Jacuzzi is my friend – for the first time, it actually worked while I was having contractions! I climbed in the tub, and I spent about 45 minutes or so pruning up. The contractions stayed regular and intense the entire time, but I was able to relax into the process. I decided to shower after the bath, and I dried my hair. At this point, it was after 5:00 am. I went back to bed, and tried to relax and stay comfortable. By 6:00, it was pretty clear that the contractions were not letting up, and sleep didn’t seem like an option. Elliot & I debated whether we should go to the hospital or call the midwives. I decided to wait because I’d been through this before, and it turned out to be nothing.

Unfortunately, I was right. After 7:15, I was able to doze off a bit. The contractions have still been going, but they did lessen in intensity a bit. Our biggest concern is that I won’t actually know when I’m in labor, and that we won’t be able to get to the hospital in time.

We woke this morning to deal with Verizon and Vonage – because AGAIN, they screwed up my phone service. It is amazing how easily these companies get it wrong, blame each other, and then claim to be unable to resolve the problem. Thanks to Elliot, we were dealing with the executive offices for both companies. After spending the past five hours fighting with them, we finally have the phone service issues resolved. I’ve been SOOO frustrated that I’ve been missing all my doctors’ calls today.

So, here I sit . . . contracting, uncomfortable, and unsure what to do. I’m SOOO ready to have this baby, but just don’t know if I should rush him out or hang in there. This part is miserable, and I just don’t know how much longer I can do this.

Ultrasound – 37 weeks 3 days

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Today we had our weekly “biophysical profile” ultrasound – once again, our brilliant son scored a perfect 8/8! Basically, it means he is quite content where he is. While I’m happy to hear that he is thriving in there, can someone please help me serve him an eviction notice? I promise not to serve him another one until after he completes college.

We actually got some fantastic pictures today – I’ll go downstairs and scan them when Elliot gets home (he took them with him). The doctor came in to see us, and after I whined he decided to do an internal check on me. The good news is I’m over 3 cm dilated (yes, progress!) and still at 80% effaced. He stripped my membranes to see if that would stir anything up. I’m actually not hopeful, but if it is going to work, we should see something in 24-48 hours.

****Update****

Here are the ultrasound pics from today:

Another cruel trick

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I’m trying hard to stay positive, but, in truth, what I want to do is whine. I’ve been spotting since my appointment on Monday, but I don’t seem to be progressing to the next level. Today the contractions seem to be worse again, and I’m back to uncomfortable. I just really hope that this turns into labor. I’m torn about what to do – I’m at a point where they are willing to induce me, but I don’t want to rush the baby out. At the same time, I’m not sure how much more my body (or me) can take of these constant contractions. I’m tired, extremely emotional, and I’m really afraid I won’t have the energy for actual labor when it finally gets here. The back pains are killing me, and the constant squeezing is making me batty. I’m not getting much work done because I’m too uncomfortable, and with all the contractions, I don’t feel up to driving and running errands either. So, I’ve been pretty house-bound, bored and uncomfortable. There are only so many hours a day for so many days in a row that I can just “relax.” I’m really not getting much relief from relaxing, and I don’t know how many hours a day I can reasonably spend in the bathtub before I officially become a prune. I can’t even seem to sit still long enough to do much on the computer. Please tell me there is relief in sight.

Full Term Today

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Well, after everything we’ve been through, today I’m officially 37 weeks and this baby is “full-term.” We had our 37 week appointment, and I’m making a bit of progress. I’m still 2 cm dilated, but easily stretchable to 3 cm. I’m 80% effaced, but my cervix is quite soft, and the baby “engaged” – I’m at 0 station now.

She decided to “stretch” my cervix a bit to see if she could kick things up a bit. It has – I’ve now had my “bloody show” and the contractions have kicked back up a bit. She thinks I won’t last more than another week on my own, so we’ll see if she is correct.

C’mon baby . . . let’s go!