baby names

What’s in a name?

July 1, 2010 by Jessica

Many of you have been asking about baby Twoey’s name…and I am happy to report that we DO have a name for her! Before I announce her name, however, I thought I would drag you along for our naming saga.

I think I have mentioned before that it is Jewish tradition to name children after loved ones/family members who have died. Elliot and I decided that we would like to name our daughter after our beloved grandmothers…my grandmother, Berenice, who died in January, and his grandmother, Esther, who died many years ago. We also felt we could easily name after my other grandmother Belle (who died while I was pregnant with Micah) because her name also began with “B.” So began our search for “B” and “E” names.

Another issue for us is that we were looking for “B” and “E” names that were either Biblical or had a Hebrew (or possibly Yiddish) origin. We quickly realized that the options for the letter “B” were quite limited…we identified the names Beyla (my grandmother, Belle’s name in Yiddish), Batya, and Bari. We both disliked the name Batya. Elliot did not like the name Beyla (although it was very much growing on me) and I was a bit iffy about the name Bari (but it was rapidly growing on Elliot).

We then looked at E names…there were so many that I liked, but Eliana was by far my favorite. Elliot liked the name…but was concerned that it was too similar to his name…he did not want to be Ellie and Elliot (again, in Jewish tradition, naming after someone ALIVE is almost like wishing them dead…it is a superstition). I completely understood that, since the names really are quite identical and have the same exact Hebrew root.

So then we kept looking for more names. I also had a great aunt Hilda I loved like a grandmother, and her name began with an “H” so we considered “H” names…and we fell in love with the name Hannah. Unfortunately, we did not think it flowed well with our last name, so we were a bit hesitant about the name. Nevertheless, Hannah Beyla was a top contender for a name for me. We also looked at “I” and “A” names (because the Hebrew letter used for “E” is also the same letter used for “I” and “A” names). We came up with Alayna and Alana and Isabel. One of the things we liked about the name Isabel is that it contained Grandma Belle’s name IN the name, so we could easily honor 2 grandmothers with one name. For a long time, Isabel was our top contender…we thought we could call her Izzy (or even Belle or Bella if she preferred). We were thinking Isabel Hannah could work perfectly as a name…but I was sad because I very much wanted to honor my grandmother, Berenice, and I felt the name did not accomplish that goal (and we previously honored Grandma Belle with Micah’s middle name). Then, horror of horrors happened…okay, I’m being dramatic, but the Social Security list of top 100 names came out, and Isabella was ranked #1. That did it for me…I became very uncomfortable with choosing a name as popular as Isabel! I thought our daughter would be one of 50 Izzy/Isabel/Isabella/Bellas in her class if we selected that as her name. My name was extremely popular while I was growing up…and while I love my name, it was often a challenge being one of 4 or 5 Jessicas in a bunk or a classroom. I was never JUST Jessica – my name had to come with a last initial, or a nickname, or a descriptor. Because of my experience, it has been my preference NOT to pick an extremely popular name for my children.

Ironically, in all of this discussion, we actually agreed on a boy’s name (that we did not need). Funny – we had such a hard time choosing a name for Micah – if we’d had a boy this time, we definitely would have named him Asher. But, I digress….

So, we went back to looking at Hannah…we did not like Hannah combined with Bari (it sounded too close to the Hanna Barbera cartoons), and we still did not like it with our last name. We thought about Bari Hannah, but I was still iffy about the name Bari. We tried on Bari Eliana, but Elliot was a bit unsure about Eliana. We discussed Hannah Beyla and Beyla Hannah and Beyla Eliana…but Elliot was resolute in his objection to the name Beyla (and since my grandmothers did not get along, I was not sure my grandmother Berenice would feel honored by naming my daughter after Grandma Belle).

In the back of my mind through ALL of this was the thought that I STILL loved the name Maya…the name we would have selected for Micah had he been a girl. I brought it up numerous times, but Elliot always pointed out that we did not plan to name after our “M” family members this time since we already did that. And yet…I just loved the name Maya more than anything else we discussed, even though the name Bari would most honor my grandmother.

When my water broke, we still had not settled on the name. On the way to the hospital, Elliot seemed to think we were choosing between Isabel Hannah or Hannah Isabel, and I said I was not really comfortable with either of those names. We discussed Bari again, and Beyla, and all of our other names. We even went off on a tangent with a few S names, but that muddied the waters. I brought up the name Maya again, and Elliot said he thought it was off the table. Labor then got too intense for me…and we did not discuss names again until after she was born.

For the next few days, we referred to her as either Twoey or Nona Me’ (pronounced nonah-may…a play on No Name!). I was certain our fear/joke that the name Twoey would end up on her birth certificate because we couldn’t agree on a name was about to become reality!

We were thinking about Isabel initially, but I just couldn’t wrap my head around the name, and Hannah was not working for me as a first name. I kept thinking her name was Maya…or possibly Beyla. My mom was in love with the name Bari, but I was still a bit unsure of that as a name. I love unusual names…but was not sure if it was TOO unusual.

So, there we sat at the hospital…and every time someone asked us what her name was, we said “we don’t know.” We debated and debated, and we negotiated and negotiated…and we were not making any progress. By Saturday, we were still all over the place but Bari Eliana seemed to be the top contender, but I couldn’t let go of the name Maya, and I was leaning towards Maya Bari. I could have been sold on Beyla Eliana, but Elliot was completely not open to the name. So, we decided to open up the names for discussion/input from some of our friends/family. Much to our surprise, people were evenly split between the name Maya and Bari. A few more people seemed to prefer the name Maya, but I was surprised by the number of people who really loved the name Bari.

Ultimately, we could not reach a final decision, so we decided to combine them and choose all three names…Maya Bari Eliana. We are currently calling her Maya, but we *may* still decide to drop Maya, or we may choose to call her Bari instead of Maya – we are sorting that out over the next few weeks.

So, there is our saga…and now I can officially welcome our new daughter, Maya Bari Eliana into the world!

The times they are a-changin’….

May 3, 2010 by Jessica

I know I always say this, but I’m constantly amazed by how much things change from week to week. It has been nearly 2 weeks since my last substantive post…and while not much has been going on, so much has changed. Funny how that is…I’ve had all these little nothings I’ve wanted to post, but nothing really interesting to write about, so I keep postponing the blog entries.

Overall, my last two weeks have been relatively uneventful…I’ve been cramming my work week into 3 full days plus afternoon nap time the other two days. I lost a lot of time while Micah was sick, and I do feel that I am quickly running out of time before Twoey arrives. We are desperately trying to wrap up the final plans for the renovation (I’ve been meaning to post a draft of the plans and talk about all that insanity) and file for our permits. Once again, we are already behind schedule and the budget keeps ballooning. We got a nasty bout of sticker shock at our last meeting, so we are now trying to figure out how to reduce the costs without scaling back the scope of the project.

Micah, however, is changing rapidly by the moment. His vocabulary seems to be increasing by leaps and bounds. He repeats words, says thank you, get down (to the dog), car, vroom, tree, doggy, milk and a few other things. He has been amazing us in other ways lately, too. After refusing to eat any pasta (or rice) for months and months…he started to eat spaghetti! They told us he ate 4 bowls at daycare, and we did not believe them. We took him out for dinner at a chili place, and we ordered a spaghetti chili for dinner that he scarfed down! This weekend, my nieces Paige and Peyton were in town and we served Macaroni and cheese for dinner…and Micah couldn’t gobble it down fast enough! So, apparently pasta is now an option again. I also made him rice to serve with dinner last night, and he ate that, too. I’m excited because it means we have more options for meals now, and it will be easier to stop for lunch and dinner in restaurants if we can serve him pasta. Here is a picture of Micah playing with Paige and Peyton at Bethesda’s Celebrate Mama event we took them to – they were dancing and playing while the Kidville Little Maestros performed:

Micah currently has a strawberry obsession. I think, if we let him, he’d eat strawberries until he exploded! We bought a huge flat of strawberries to make strawberry jam, and every time Micah saw it, he insisted on eating more strawberries. I think he ate several pounds of strawberries all on his own!

It was only a month ago that I posted about how Micah would walk to the gate and climb upstairs at bedtime when we asked him if he wanted to go upstairs and go night-night. Now, Micah’s response to that question (and almost everything else) is to shake his head no. Do you want to go night-night? No. Do you want to go sit in your chair and eat dinner? No. Do you want to play outside? No. I think no is his default response to everything now. Sometimes, I admit I ask questions just because it makes me laugh when he shakes his head no!

Micah has found a new obsession…shoes and hats. He loves to put our shoes on and try to walk around the house. Sometimes, he brings his own shoes over to us (while we are sitting inside) and insists that we put his shoes on his feet, too. I can’t tell you how often he walks around in pajamas and shoes, or a diaper and shoes. He also LOVES his Daddy’s bike helmet, and is constantly trying to wear that, too.

On April 24, Elliot and I went to our friends Laurie and Jeff’s wedding. Actually, I set them up at our wedding! The wedding was just beautiful – I only wish I felt more up to dancing. I kept trying to get out there and enjoy myself, but the contractions would get a bit strong and make me nervous. Nevertheless, the wedding was beautiful and we had an amazing time. Luckily, Micah was able to spend the night with his Grammy and Grampy while we were at the wedding. They had tons of fun together, and Micah did really well sleeping at their house. They ate pancakes for breakfast, and we picked Micah up right around lunch time. We decided to run over to Heather’s house to visit her new puppy – only 9 weeks old! He is a cav-chon (a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and Bichon mix). He was so cute and sweet – only 2.5 lbs! He was bouncing all over, and Micah was IN LOVE with him. He had no fear – he loved the dog jumping in his face and kissing him, and didn’t even worry about the little nipping.

Micah seems to have 2 new teeth…one on the bottom left, next to his bottom 2 teeth, and one on the top left…I think it is the bicuspid. He has at least another 4-6 teeth trying to break through. This has made for a few rough nights – teething definitely causes Micah to wake up and fuss. Friday night he was up from 1:15 until 4:00 am, but he has been better since then. Unfortunately, he woke up on Saturday morning with two spider bites – one on his cheek, and one on his arm. It looks like a spider walked across while he was sucking his thumb and bit him twice. It is kind of nasty and bubbled up, but so far, it appears infection-free. We have been wiping them down with hydrogen peroxide at night and dabbing them with neosporin. We’ve also given him benadryl at night to help with the itching and swelling, and it seems to be working.

We are having some issues with Micah and aggression lately. The good news is we had a playgroup here on Sunday with a whole bunch of women I met through the breastfeeding support group I attended after Micah was born, and it seems we are all struggling with the same issue. Micah has a tendency to get territorial around toys – he will scream loudly if others get too close and he thinks they will take them away, and he has even been known to push to protect his toys. We try our best to reprimand him and teach him to share, but I just don’t feel like he is learning yet. He usually does not walk over and steal something from other children…normally, he’ll watch and wait and grab it when they drop it or turn their backs. But, I do get embarassed when he yells at other children in class. Here is our little playgroup:

Micah has also become obsessed with climbing on the chairs and looking out the window. He can easily get himself on and off the couches and chairs in the living room, but we still worry that he likes to stand and jump on them (and does not listen when we tell him to sit). He loves to bounce on the chairs and bury himself in the pillows – I just wish he would develop safety awareness!

As the weather has gotten warmer, I’ve slowly been bringing out Micah’s summer clothes. I purchased everything for the summer in size 12-18 months, but the clothing is pretty large on him. Actually, in terms of length, the size isn’t bad, but he is just so skinny that all the bottoms fall off of him! We did recently discover that many of his shorts have tabs in the pants that allow us to cinch them in – this has been our saving grace!

Last week, I had another appointment with my midwife and the maternal fetal medicine specialist. I have to say, I’m feeling far more uncomfortable this pregnancy than I did with Micah. I just feel…stuffed all the time now, and Twoey is definitely sitting on my bladder these days. My belly was measuring perfectly – exactly 32 weeks – and her heart rate has been great. She is head down and starting to engage, so we are definitely on the right track. Twoey measured 32 weeks in size, and estimated her weight at 4 lbs 2 ounces (I found that shocking – that is 1/2 lb larger than Micah was at the same time!!). I think, however, their estimates may be off – her head has already dropped a bit, so the fluid levels were a lower around her head which can affect their measurements. They also seemed to think her head was measuring larger than the rest of her body, so it was most likely a bit inaccurate. Her arms/legs/belly were all measuring a week or two small…which seems a bit more normal to me (since I was a small baby and Micah was so small). I guess we’ll see what the next growth ultrasound says! My cervix seems to be holding steady…shocking, but true. The contractions are still there, but we seem to be keeping them under control. I lost 2 lbs since my 30 week appointments, so still no weight gain of any kind. Now that I’m planning for Twoey’s early arrival…I’ll probably end up 42 weeks pregnant and needing to be induced. I’m definitely feeling anxious about things…I have no idea when we are moving, and whether we will be here or in the condo when she is born. Because we do not have a final room together, my need to nest is being thwarted…I have nothing to get organized! So, instead I seem to be obsessing about furniture and paint colors for the finished house.

I guess my final update is about names for Twoey…no, we do not plan on sharing her name before she is born. Not that it matters…the only name we really have so far is Twoey! We are VERY stuck on names this time. Ironically, we just came up with a name we like for a boy…and we’re having a girl. We did this the last time, too. We just can’t seem to find that “perfect” name that resonates with us. I have a feeling this baby may be Twoey for the rest of her life!

The Great Name Debate

October 14, 2008 by Jessica

Many of you have asked about names for this baby . . . . and the truth is, we don’t have a name for him yet. But, even if we did, we intend to keep the name quiet until after he is born. Truthfully – well, we don’t want any opinions on whatever name we decide. We have discovered that prior to birth, people feel quite free to tell you what they think of the name you have selected, and then they start to lobby to convince you to change the name. After the baby is born, even if they hate the name, the worst that most people will say to your face is “how unusual!” We’re okay with that, and sufficiently superstitious that if we actually pick a name, we’ll be keeping quiet.

Now, in all of our attempts to come up with a name for this baby, we have identified a number of “joke” names for the baby. We’ve been far more successful at agreeing to these names than real names, so we have focused our efforts here. In the spirit of full disclosure, I thought I would share our 4 favorite “joke” names with you:

Name #1: Our first name for the baby is PGeorge. And no, the P is not a typo. First, we thought of “George” because of the looney toons cartoon (spoofing Of Mice and Men) where the abominable snowman is chasing bugs and hugging him to death while he desperately tries to escape and saying “I will love you, and hug you, and kiss you, and squeeze you and call you George.” Elliot and I have been obsessed with that line since his then 3 year old nephew, Ethan, came to stay with us a few years ago and spent the entire weekend chasing Nugget around and hugging her to death (she had the exact same expression on her face as bugs did in that cartoon). So, we just kind of imagine all the little nieces and nephews (and aunts, uncles, grandparents, and us) doing that to this baby, too. We added a “leading silent P” because both of my brother’s daughters have names that begin with P (Paige and Peyton), and we didn’t want him to feel left out from the newly created “tradition” on our side of the family.

Name #2: Giodie (pronounced Jodi or Jody). Elliot has 2 sisters-in-laws named Jodi/Jody (one spelled Jody, and the other Jodi). They both have the same last name as this baby, and we joked that we didn’t think there were enough Jodis in our family, and since Jody can be a boy’s name . . . well, you get the drift. So then we started to think how we would differentiate this baby (the family calls the others Jody “y” and Jodi “i” when we talk about them), so we were thinking Giodie “G” would be funny. And the “ie” on the end . . .well, we wanted to be different – we don’t have a Jodie either, yet.

Name #3: In light of the American financial crisis, one of Elliot’s friends was discussing the fact that China owns most of our national debt, and one day, China will call it in and the US will become a colony (or territory) of China. The friend suggested that in order to ease the transition for our child, we should have a Chinese name for our son . . . so we decided on Ming-Ha. Now, for those of you who are Jewish, there is another joke in there. We then decided if we gave the baby a Chinese name, we also needed to make sure we could find an appropriate Hebrew name. As we discussed it, we thought that Ming-Ha sounds a lot like an americanized version of “Mincha” (the Hebrew word for afternoon prayer service), so we joked that Mincha could be his Hebrew name. We also thought Havdallah (the Hebrew word for the prayer service that closes out Shabbat) could be his middle name. Okay . . . it amused us!

Name #4: Last week, we were watching some cooking thing on PBS, and Gwyneth Paltrow was on it and needed to go feed her daughter, Apple. I started laughing hysterically (don’t know why it was SUDDENLY funny to me) and I told him that if Gwyneth can name her child after fruit, perhaps we should name the baby Melon. We had a long debate about types of melon (and of course, the requisite joke about is it bad to name a boy after fruit), and different kinds of pears, and other silly types of fruit names, but I decided I liked Melon – Mel for short. Elliot then told me it looks like I swallowed a melon, so it was very appropriate.

Hope you enjoyed our name discussion!