Once I tell you this, I am certain you will think I am crazy (well, even crazier). Apparently, I am now officially delusional. This morning, when I woke up at 5:30 am to try and pump, I became convinced that my breast pump talks. The motor makes this grinding noise that actually sounds like a word. Well, really a phrase. I kept hearing over and over again while I pumped:
“GET AWAY!”
I woke Elliot up to make him listen. He thought I was nuts and it wasn’t saying “Get away.” I then thought maybe it was saying “Natalie.” At my next pumping session, the “Get away” mantra melded into “Oedipus” at one point before doing a chorus of “Natalie” and then returning to “Get away.” This last pumping session, it pretty consistently chanted “Get away” at me (with a few “Natalie” lines thrown in). I have to say, I think I hate my breast pump as much as it hates me. I’d like nothing better than to throw it through the big picture windows in our dining room . . . but we did just pay to replace them all, so that would be foolish.
So . . . who is planning to be the first to call the crazy authorities on me?
Honey, you need more sleep. You are not crazy, but definitely delusional.